constant craving

My childhood memories are pretty much swiss cheese -- full of holes. I can only remember teensy bits and pieces from before I was thirteen years old. Every once in a while, though, something will set me off and I'll remember something so vividly that I'd forgotten so long ago.

Today, I was scanning a message board I like to frequent, and one of the topics was when you can first tell a child will grow up to be a homosexual after observing her three year old niece develop a crush on a female friend of the family.

That question triggered this memory:

My mother had these enormous magenta and purple mu-mus with appliqué flowers that she used as a nightgown. I loved wearing them because a) they were so comfortable, and b) when I spun around the dress spread out around me, and I thought I looked like k.d. lang in one of her music videos where she did the same thing.

I also thought k.d. lang was a boy at the time.

But, now, in retrospect, a little boy who loves k.d. lang music videos... yeah, that's probably a very clear indication you'll grow up homo.

Despite what the religious right desperately asserts, sexuality is completely by nature, not nurture. My parents raised five straighties ahead of me and I somehow don't think they accidentally bred me as an aberration. Nor is it a choice; as I explained to my father at one point, why would I wake up one morning and actively decide to be a social pariah?

In this political season, I wish that people would realize this. I once explained to my very conservative brother that though I may share some similar points of view with the conservative line of thought, I can never, ever, ever cast a vote for someone who views me as less deserving of a right or a privilege because of something I have no control over. Ron Paul's performance at the Republican debates last week was eye-opening, but a look back on his congressional record concerning gay issues is moreso, and puts him quite at odds with the man he wants everyone to think he is.