fear and loathing

Another break-in, this time our next door neighbors. They have an alarm system with a screaming siren that went off at about 11:30 tonight. At first I thought nothing of it, there tends to be a false alarm every two or three months there, and this one got shut off within a minute. Roommate called about an hour later, letting me know what was going on. I peered out the front door to see lots of blue lights flashing. Our neighbors were apparently home at the time, and according to the hearsay, they actually were able to catch the guy on their front porch.

Unnerving. I've been rolling around the idea of finding my own place for the past couple of weeks, and right this very second moving into a nice, tightly secured apartment complex like the one I looked at last week seems quite appealing. But then, Atlanta in general just feels terribly unsafe to me. I'm a big tall guy who looks pretty intimidating and typically not what someone thinks of as an easy target, but I never really feel *secure* when I walk home at night. Hell, I felt safer in pre-gentrification Harlem than I do in Atlanta.

I'd just rather be somewhere else. Not necessarily New York, just somewhere that isn't Atlanta. This place doesn't work for me... but I've got so much lined up in the next six months right now, it's not a viable option.

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Updates:

Heard from D. Out of the hospital, back at home and doing alright. I'm worried about him, regardless.

J is out of hospital too -- I confused myself by trying to be vague on detail. Not a back problem; a hernia. I'm glad he got it taken care of before it became something much, much worse.

A family friend passed on this morning. I didn't know her well, but knew enough to know what a loss it is.

All of this just shores up those feelings of fragility. Living without fear should be as easy as it is said.