one yes, one no

I've talked to a couple of people but I haven't really gone into much detail. The bottom line is no, I will not be invading people's homes on that nationally televised talent competition, but I did get quite close. Each station set up at the auditions were manned by two producers. The producers must both be in agreement to put you through to the next round.

I got one yes and one no -- which ultimately means no. I had observed prior auditioners as they made their ways up to the tables and the body language of the producers was always the same -- they would stare disengaged and avoid direct eye contact if they would not put you through. But if they were interested, one would inevitably lean over to the other without taking their eyes off you and begin whispering.

I was the first one from my little group of four that sang. My producers were one little blonde British lady and one rather gruff looking man who looks an awful lot like someone I have a teeny crush on at the gym. These two were very short, and to the point -- no introductions, no names, just sing. I stepped forward. After the first two lines, the blonde Brit smiled broadly, leaned over and started whispering. My 30 second audition expanded to a full minute. I got to the end of the chorus, a natural cut off, and was cut off.

"Thank you! That was really great," said British lady. Gruff man looked disengaged said nothing.

The two girls after me sang so quietly I couldn't actually hear them. The last guy sang a song by Blues Traveler, and had a great quality to his voice. Gruff man sat up and listened for a second, but as his pitch started wavering all OVER the place he withdrew.

British lady leaned over again, looked at me and whispered for another second. Gruff man said three words back to her, and they called us forward. British lady delievered the news.

"Thanks for coming out. You guys are the ones who make this show what it is." She looked directly in my eyes and said "Unfortunately..." paused and returned her eyes forward to address us all inspecifically, "it's a no for all of you."

And that was it. She'd pretty clearly indicated she wanted to put me through but without agreement, there was nothing. As I was walking out I kicked myself for not taking the opportunity to belt out the first three lines of "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" in full Jennifer Holliday voice -- that may have gotten me through, but for the wrong reasons.

So I'm a little disappointed, of course, but I'm happy I did it. I validated myself for the previous bomb and if by some shot I decide I want to try this again next year, I'm better prepared. Like I said to my father... sometimes you have to take the long shots before you get to fire at anything closer.

--

Otherwise, the weekend was just wonderful. It was a whirlwind of activity and a much needed break away from work. I saw Xanadu (wonderfully stupid fun) and Legally Blonde (just kinda stupid), hung out with friends, some of whom I have not seen in 2+ years, laughed until I cried several times, and stayed in a fantastically comfortable hotel in Philadelphia (I highly recommend the Sheraton Four Points to anyone passing through the area). I also realized its not so much New York City that I miss, but the people I know there. I could be anywhere with them and be deliriously happy (don't get me wrong, though -- I miss the city itself, too -- and a useful mass transit system).

I need to find something else to work towards and look forward to, though -- preparing for the auditions gave me a sense of direction I haven't felt in a while. Atlanta has been good for me on many fronts, but has also been incredibly stifling, stagnant, and frustrating, and right now I'm kind of at loose ends without knowing where I want to step next.