the prime of life

moving on

2008-02-23T15:10:00.002-05:00

Stop wondering where you're going,
Move on.
If you can know where you're going,
You've gone.
Just keep moving on.

I chose and my world was shaken,
So what?
The choice may have been mistaken,
The choosing was not.
You have to move on.

Anything you do,
Let it come from you.
Then, it will be new.
Give us more to see.

--Stephen Sondheim

one more

2008-01-05T16:00:00.000-05:00

Another laugh from the 70s before I move the blog to new digs...

Completely Modern Interior Decorating

Two laughs for Christmas

2007-12-25T11:07:00.000-05:00

1) A unique take on Handel's Messiah

2) An artistic interpretation of Star Wars.

breaking news!

2007-12-20T16:54:00.000-05:00

In a move that will doubtlessly prove to be unintentionally hilarious, Atlanta's favorite crazy-eyed fruitbat, Cynthia McKinney, has declared her candidacy for president, running under the Green Party banner.

Can she be in the debates? Oh, please please please? This campaign has severly lacked in the funny department, and with the writer's strike still going strong, this may well be the only chance for genuine entertainment we'll have in 2008.

ch-ch-ch-changes

2007-12-16T12:33:00.000-05:00

Just a thing or two before I go off to work:

1) Thanks for birthday wishes :)

2) I FINALLY got my learner's permit on Friday. Now I just have to get in a car and figure out how it works.

3) Some major shifts in my life and what's going on, which is going to reflect on here soon. This log doesn't really hold up a mirror to what's going on in my life anymore. In order for this to be an effective outpost (wrong word, I just can't think right now) for myself, I need to re-vamp. I have some conversations to have, and then you'll see the difference.

4) Ack, I'm late!

mike huckabee: in sheeps clothing

2007-12-07T12:40:00.000-05:00

I have to admit, even I was taken in by Mike Huckabee's affability. There was an awful lot to like about his approach to things, but a few comments have come back to bite him in the ass. He's off my Christmas card list.

(from Queerty)

Political pasts have a way of biting you in the ass. Just ask Republican candidate Mike Huckabee.

The Republican’s meteoric rise opens him up for all sorts of scrutiny - and Right Wing Watch decided to get in on the action. They’ve resurrected some of Huckabee’s previous statements on us gays. And they’re pretty gross. Take, for example, his opinion on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell:

I agree with the leadership of our military, who believe it is not in the best interest of the armed forces to have homosexuals serving on active duty. I believe to try to legitimize that which is inherently illegitimate would be a disgraceful act of government. I feel homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk.

We assuming this “public health risk” refers to HIV. Speaking of, check out what the former Arkansas governor said about the disease back in 1992 - after the jump, of course.

From Mike Huckabee’s mouth:

It is the first time in the history of civilization in which the carriers of a genuine plague have not been isolated from the general population.
This deadly disease, for which there is no cure, is being treated as a civil rights issue instead of the true health crisis it represents.

If the federal government is truly serious about doing something with the AIDS virus, we need to take steps that would isolate the carriers of this plague.

What a compassionate conservative!

i'm back

2007-12-06T16:30:00.000-05:00

I spent another week in the hospital. I'm getting to know this routine all too well.

Pneumonia, which resulted in a blood clot on my left lung. I'm feeling much better, but not at 100% yet. I'm just happy to be off the IV at this point. I've got a lot of stuff to pay attention to over the next couple of months, and a lot of things have to change thanks to this little visit. It's a good thing I'd already quit smoking!

Thanks for the well wishes.

2007-11-30T11:19:00.000-05:00

After a week of steady progress and getting better from not feeling all that sick to begin with, I woke up today with a 103 degree fever.

On my way to the doctor now.

worth a look

2007-11-30T05:25:00.000-05:00

One of the funnier blog posts I've read in a long time:

JCPenney Catalog, Circa 1977

It reminds me of the variety of catalogs one would find in our house when I was growing up. I wish I'd had the presence of mind when I was seven to save some of the stuff we had so I could dig it up and post it out there today.

headaches...

2007-11-29T01:13:00.000-05:00

Well, I spoke too soon on the post-Thanksgiving illness, though thankfully it isn't strep. It's just one of those colds that's sticking around, so lots of pressure headaches, scratchy throats, body aches, and general fatigue. I've been basically sleeping as much as possible, and then going to work... coming home and going right back to bed. I still feel pretty lousy, but I think I'm getting better. The cough has subsided, at least.

I'm really frustrated at work right now. I have some very serious misgivings about our sales manager, who should have been fired six months ago... but none of my higher-ups really want to do anything about it. That kind of complacency is poisonous, and I've seen how quickly it can make everything else go sour. I want the club to avoid going down that road again but I don't know how to do it without making other people look bad, who don't necessarily deserve it.

The Broadway Strike is over, just in time for my vacation! I'll be staying with my friend Alex. I guess I should start making my list of things to do and shows to see. Opening night of the revival of The Homecoming is on December 9, and I'm tempted to manipulate my way into an invitation. I won't, but I'm tempted. Though I hear it's kind of terrible, I wouldn't mind seeing Young Frankenstein. The Drowsy Chaperone is touring through ATL in the spring, so its not at the top of my priority list. I don't know, the Broadway stuff isn't as thrilling to me this time around. A lot of intriguing stuff off-B'way, though, and a few friends have projects I've been invited to.

a question to get you thinking

2007-11-24T15:47:00.000-05:00

OK, I have readers on both sides of the political spectrum here, and I have a question:

If you were taking part in the presidential primary for the opposite political party, who would you support/vote for and why?

"Because that would make ____ win the general election for sure!" is not an acceptable answer.

I posted this on a message board a few weeks ago and got some interesting answers out of it. Those posters were mostly Democrats, so I'm interested to get the other side of the coin.

the curse is broken

2007-11-23T15:16:00.000-05:00

OK, it's the day after Thanksgiving. This day has been generally cursed for me for the past two years -- I've come down with a horrific case of strep each year. In 2005 I was out from work for over a week. Last year I was on doctor's mandated bedrest for three days.

This year? I feel fine. Well, not completely fine -- I have a little tickle in my throat and a very slight headache, but nothing to the order of strep. I blame taking a walk in the very blustery aftermath of a light shower. Atlanta felt pretty much abandoned yesterday afternoon, only a diner and a Starbucks open for business. I spent most of the day on my own, my feast being a box mac and cheese (though to give it an air of sophistication, I got creative with the ingredients). I've been off from work since Wednesday and not going back until Sunday; clearly, I've been sleeping a lot. I'm actively fending off illness that hasn't settled in yet.

vacation!

2007-11-16T02:52:00.001-05:00

Finally, it's time to start planning some me-time!

It starts next week, with a lovely and glorious 4 (maybe 5?) day weekend! I'm still holding out hope that I'll be able to zoom down to the farm for a few days, though so far none of my transit options have panned out.

Then I'm plugging for a lovely TEN DAY BREAK in the middle of December (5 days bookended by weekends and 1 extra at the end) which will be spent mostly not in Atlanta. Found a round trip to NY for under $200, but still looking at other options too.

Finally, a few more days taken off around Christmas for a proper family holiday at the farm.

I'm looking forward to it all...

UPDATE: Damn, the fares jumped $60 overnight! Looking...

UPDATE II, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO: ...and booking. Still not that nice under $200 number, but a negotiable amount in the neighborhood. In NYC December 8-16.

fear and loathing

2007-11-10T00:59:00.000-05:00

Another break-in, this time our next door neighbors. They have an alarm system with a screaming siren that went off at about 11:30 tonight. At first I thought nothing of it, there tends to be a false alarm every two or three months there, and this one got shut off within a minute. Roommate called about an hour later, letting me know what was going on. I peered out the front door to see lots of blue lights flashing. Our neighbors were apparently home at the time, and according to the hearsay, they actually were able to catch the guy on their front porch.

Unnerving. I've been rolling around the idea of finding my own place for the past couple of weeks, and right this very second moving into a nice, tightly secured apartment complex like the one I looked at last week seems quite appealing. But then, Atlanta in general just feels terribly unsafe to me. I'm a big tall guy who looks pretty intimidating and typically not what someone thinks of as an easy target, but I never really feel *secure* when I walk home at night. Hell, I felt safer in pre-gentrification Harlem than I do in Atlanta.

I'd just rather be somewhere else. Not necessarily New York, just somewhere that isn't Atlanta. This place doesn't work for me... but I've got so much lined up in the next six months right now, it's not a viable option.

--
Updates:

Heard from D. Out of the hospital, back at home and doing alright. I'm worried about him, regardless.

J is out of hospital too -- I confused myself by trying to be vague on detail. Not a back problem; a hernia. I'm glad he got it taken care of before it became something much, much worse.

A family friend passed on this morning. I didn't know her well, but knew enough to know what a loss it is.

All of this just shores up those feelings of fragility. Living without fear should be as easy as it is said.

fragile

2007-11-09T01:14:00.000-05:00

The human body... remarkable and amazing in its ability to protect itself and rebound from trouble.

And incredibly fragile. My friend D in NYC went under the knife on Wednesday for a heart procedure. My brother J had surgery today for a back problem. And of course, there was my little four day hospital adventure, still fresh in my mind after seven months. (Incidentally, the swelling has gone down and the stiffness alleviated...nothing of great concern at this point.)

And that's where my mind is now. Preoccupied and worried. I haven't heard from D yet, and J sounds like he's having the same problems I did when I was in the hospital. It's a rough go, but they'll be fine. Maybe a bit grouchy (and occasionally loopy from painkillers) for a while, but ...fine.

i've done it again

2007-11-06T12:23:00.000-05:00

Yep, I fell once again, this time at work. I was cleaning up in the locker room, slipped on a slick spot I'd just mopped and landed on my arm. The irony is that I was putting out the wet floor signs at the time.

It's been a bit swollen for the past two days, and sends a dull throb through my arm if just barely touched. The good news, though, is that today, the swelling has gone down considerably and the pain is more like a bruise rather than a crack, break, or loose screw. Of course, I slept on my back funny last night so it's possible whatever problems I was having are just being upstaged right now. I'm keeping an eye on it and if I continue to have problems I'm back to get it x-rayed again. It's been reported too, so worker's comp will be easy if it comes to that.

My boss suddenly seems to be on the warpath, which is a great thing. One person fired yesterday, another in the sights for next week. I've been advocating for these releases for months, and finally we're in a position to be able to do so without repercussions.

scary

2007-11-03T16:17:00.001-04:00

Beelzebub, the original Hell's Angel.

Alternate interpretations:

An Irish man fresh from the tanning salon
A raccoon on fire
ECZEMA! AAAAAH!!!

ouch

2007-10-30T00:34:00.000-04:00

Tripped up the stairs with a load of groceries tonight, landing right on the broken arm. No biggie, just jarred it a little bit. I've put some IcyHot on it and it doesn't seem to have done anything other than jangled the nerves. Still, going to be very conscious of it the next few days. I've had a little area of swelling just under the break for a few days -- not painful -- but it all bears watching.

Otherwise, I'm doing well. I guess I can put it out there now -- my boss is pregnant, and from the looks of things, come March when she takes her maternity leave, I'll be taking over the club, most likely on a permanent basis.

I'm rolling around the idea of vacation now, since it seems I've managed to settle the lingering insurance questions with my teeth. I've taken no actual time *off* since the accident (except that three day weekend two weeks ago) -- any time I wanted to do something I've had to make up the time. I've used up all my sick time with my stint in the hospital, and I saved my vacation time to cover any unforeseen problems... but now I'm staring at two weeks worth of vacation time and two months before it expires. I have no idea what to do with two weeks time -- a couple of long weekends here and there, a run or two down to FL, and a jaunt to NYC, I guess. I'd like to go somewhere new, though. I know a couple of people in SF and Chicago, so that's a thought.

Halloween is in two days. I've got most of my costume stuff pulled together, and did a test run on the makeup on Saturday night. I must say, I miss doing that elaborate stage makeup -- I was really quite good at it. Gotta come up with a shtick to go with the look, but it's all coming together quite nicely.

a clean bill

2007-10-23T12:26:00.001-04:00

Post #100 comes with good news.

I went back to have my arm x-rayed once again. The ulna has healed completely -- without even an indication there was ever a break except for the metal plates and screws attached to the bone. The radius -- the one that shattered -- has been considerably slower, and while it's still healing, it's solid. I have a little notch in the bone which we suspect will be there for life, and will be a source of weather-induced and seasonal pain (which is what I'm likely suffering right now).

The hardware is still in place -- the original worry when the pain started two weeks ago was that some of the screws had come loose and I'd need more surgery to either tighten or remove them. That's not the case, and with luck, I'll always be a kind of bionic man and they'll never have to come off.

After looking at the x-rays, the doctor turned to me and said "Yep, I think we're done here. Call me if you have any problems, but no need to schedule any more follow-ups."

Now if I can only get this dental insurance mess sorted out, we'll be doing great.

trivia time

2007-10-18T23:02:00.001-04:00

Got to play trivia again tonight. My fortunes were far dimmer tonight, with some REALLY tough questions. Here we go...

1) Margaretha Zelle was a dancer who was put to death by the French government on October 15th, 1917, accused of being a spy. Under what name is she better known?

2) What color is Superman's belt?

3) What detergent advertised that it could remove ring around the collar?

4) The Mason-Dixon line was established in 1767 to settle a land dispute between which two states?

5) In 2003, what country became only the third on Earth to launch a manned space mission?

6) What is the next number in this series? 1, 4, 27, 256, ___?

7) Hadrian's Wall was built by the Romans separating what two countries?

8) What English guitarist was a founding member of the band Cream?

9) What pastry was created by the Kennedy Biscuit Company in 1891 is now the #3 most consumed cookie in the world?

10) What NFL team famously relocated overnight in 1984 after its original hometown threatened to seize the team under eminent domain to keep it from leaving?

2007-10-18T03:03:00.001-04:00

And so things level out again. Work has been quite stressful over the past two weeks but it's beginning to glide again.

I'm still on my workout regimen, and oddly enough, I still haven't lost any weight, but the body fat percentage keeps dropping. I'm now two percentage points lower than I was. Only six more to go!

And, finally, I have a glorious three day weekend this week! I've been needing a break, and tomorrow, I get it. I've got a couple of projects to work on -- helping brothers with a new computer and designing some outreach cards for the guy who cuts my hair. I haven't gotten to be good and geeky in a while, it'll be nice to jump into that again.

Three posts until my centennipost! What a year it's been.

correction

2007-10-11T01:39:00.001-04:00

OK.

I got the full breakdown of my dental services and compared it to items covered in my plan. Some corrections have been made, though I still owe more than originally quoted... not much more. The $1,400 bill can now be argued down to $576 if I'm reading this correctly. The final payment of $311 was supposed to happen next Friday, so hopefully I can negotiate and navigate this effectively -- 2 payments of $288 instead? Let's hope.

There's still that nebulous 'lab fee' stuck in there. I won't argue it, but you've gotta wonder.

I feel relieved.

--

On other fronts, training is going well. In two weeks, I've actually gained a pound, but my body fat percentage went down... so I've lost fat, but I've built more muscle to balance the difference.

I'm quite alright with that.

2007-10-08T01:34:00.001-04:00

Ha, that was not the entry I set out to write when I sat down, but it's what came spilling out.

I meant to write about the irritation of getting a phone call from my dentist's billing office, telling me that my balance is now some $1400 more than what it originally was. Something about denied services from insurance. I called around for advice, first, and then called my insurance company to appeal.

The work is now underneath a full audit and hopefully tomorrow I'll have a better idea to what this is all about. Of course, if I owe $1,400 then any hopes of a November or December vacation are completely gone. This would all, of course, come up just as I'm making my last expected payment on my teeth. I was looking forward to being done with all this but looks like there's a second wind about to blow.

The training is going well. I haven't seen any remarkable number changes but I can tell subtle differences, like improved posture and hints of definition. I've started eating better, too. Hopefully this will maintain.

Work has been wearing me out mentally and physically. My weekends nowadays are spent mostly in the confines of the condo. There is a distinct lack of excitement right now, as some things pass on by and others remain on hold indefinitely.

2007-10-08T01:05:00.000-04:00

"There is a thin line between passion and obsession. I like to think I dance all over it."

I have to wonder sometimes if I'm not a very highly functioning autistic. I read up on it a few weeks ago and a lot of things really clicked. It would go a long way to explaining my difficulties in social situations, some of my compulsive behaviors (most anyone who has lived with me can attest to my thing with straws, amongst other things), and my abilities to absorb information quickly and be able to repeat it nearly perfect on the first try -- as evidenced by my computer expertise and my immediate understanding of policy and procedure with work.

I struggled in school, though it had nothing to do with the actual learning. Middle school was a breeze, and the only time I actually did WELL because a lot of it was stuff I already had a working knowledge of from elementary school.

If you ever wondered why theatre clicked so firmly for me, consider that it was often the only outlet I felt I had that I could get past a lot of the mental blocks I'd set up. I work in a largely social setting, and I use that theatre training every single day. Without it, I'd probably be even more of a nervous wreck.

It can be useful, it can be hindering. I get frustrated at work when those around me don't pick up on the minute details. I can quote written policy as if it were great literature. Occasionally I lose my patience, and later on I have to stop and remind myself that it's not their fault they can't see things the way I do.

Of course, this is all just me trying to assign some sort of identity to my numerous quirks. After twenty seven years, I still find myself completely baffling.

really?!

2007-10-06T13:28:00.000-04:00


	John Edwards Score: 45	Agree Immigration Taxes Stem-Cell Research Health Care Abortion Social Security Energy Marriage Death Penalty	Disagree Iraq Line-Item Veto
-- Take the Quiz! --

Tied for second: Kucinich, Obama, and Clinton.

Highest scoring republican: Giuliani, shocking no one, followed by (ewwww) Mitt Romney.

Of course, nuanced political opinions can not be fairly delineated in an 11-question quiz.

it begins

2007-10-02T00:02:00.000-04:00

LOTS of intrigue going on around work. Some stuff I officially "don't know" yet, some stuff that really excites me, some stuff that really gives me reason to pause. What's on paper now is not necessarily what will be in the final draft.

Vague, I know, but with the nature of the Internet right now I can't afford to be more detailed. Some of you may be getting calls for advice soon.

just a part

2007-10-01T03:45:00.000-04:00

My mantra this morning is "it's just part of the job. it'll be worth it soon. it's just part of the job."

But, seriously, can you blame me for not wanting to go to work at 5am on short notice and no sleep after doing a 14 hour day yesterday?

it begins again

2007-09-27T01:07:00.000-04:00

I got a deal I couldn't pass up. I start with a personal trainer tomorrow afternoon.

Part of this stems from the fact I have an awesome Halloween costume in mind, but I can't quite pull it off yet. The other part is seeing the scale creep back up slowly and feeling distinctly uncomfortable about that.

Better days ahead...

urban renewal

2007-09-23T12:04:00.000-04:00

I started this on Sunday but didn't get to finish it til now...
--

I've always been fascinated by urban renewal. While in NYC I had the fun of living in neighborhoods just before or during transitional times -- or as more cynical people would call it, "gentrification." From Astoria, a hidden jewel that started getting discovered when rent in Midtown got out of hand, to Harlem, a notoriously violent area that suddenly saw an influx of new business spurred by Bill Clinton moving his offices to 125th Street (after his original choice next to Carnegie Hall came under criticism for being too expensive), to Long Island City -- a largely industrial area full of warehouses storing things that hadn't been touched in thirty years that became a hipster's paradise with trendy bars, museums, huge apartments with cheap rent, and proximity to Silvercup Studios (no matter what you think about her, Sarah Jessica Parker eating lunch at a local diner after filming scenes for Sex and The City has a way of raising a neighborhood's profile).

So it was with great interest I read this article from this morning's AJC. It's all about the challenges that face the Five Points area of Atlanta.

It's a dirty, dingy section of town inhabited mainly by transients and hookers, but even more interesting is the successful refurbishing of areas barely a mile away. The area around the Aquarium, Centennial Park and the new World of Coke is almost pristine in comparison. The article is almost comical in the way everyone passes the blame to everyone else while no one does a thing. Comical, if it weren't so abhorrently pathetic.

I've been in the Five Points section exactly once, while looking for a Kinkos I ultimately never found (stupid inaccurate website!). My first thought was "Jeez, they could do SO much with this!" which was closely followed by "What did I just step in?"

In the aftermath of the Olympics, downtown Atlanta's future seemed sunny. While it's hard to pinpoint exactly what went wrong, it's not too late. Model the renaissance of downtown Atlanta after the resurrection of Times Square... shove the bum off the bench and remove it. Keep people moving through the area and offer tax breaks to retailers and companies that set up shop there. Shift the plans for the Peachtree 'Magnificent Mile' down about three miles, and you're well on your way. And, similar to what NYC did with Disney, partner with a company with a specific attraction to sell so it doesn't break the bank. They've got a good start with the revitalization of Centennial Park -- now move it slightly to the east and Atlanta can start being the city it wants to be.

MVP

2007-09-20T13:41:00.000-04:00

I've spent the past few days over at the other local location of the gym I work at. They've recently installed a new GM, someone who I've turned to many times for help and guidance when she was running the community outreach department for the company. She's been asking for me to come over and help get things organized and running properly for weeks, and I finally made it over this week.

When I first started working for the company I was basically a glorified front desk guy -- I had a title but no real responsibility. In those first months I kept asking for more responsibility, trying to integrate myself into the daily operational aspects. The place was a mess, with an overblown payroll, a largely unmotivated sales staff, and nightmarish organization. The newly installed area veep came down for a visit, and within three days had fired my GM, sales manager, and much of the operational staff. He pulled me and the child care director off to the side that night and put us in charge of the gym while the new GM was sought.

I took that opportunity and ran with it, doing everything in my power to make myself as indispensable as humanly possible. Now, two years and two promotions later, I'm the guy they're calling in to clean up the mess left behind by others.

In between projects I've had plenty of opportunity to talk to K, the other location's new GM. The past few weeks have been messy, complex and difficult for her, and she seems so relieved to have me around -- she's constantly asking for my advice on how to handle certain issues, where to find the answers she needs, and my opinions on her support staff. It's interesting how the roles have reversed. At one point, she looked at me and said "God, it's so nice to have the company's most valuable asset here to help me."

I took a second to search the statement and intonation for irony -- nope, clean.

In two years, my profile has raised from dopey front desk agent to MVP.

Feels good.

answers

2007-09-13T14:33:00.000-04:00

1) Flight 175 crashed into the south tower of the WTC. Which airline was it?

United

2) What do the initials stand for in J.D. Salinger's name?

Jerome David

3) Vivien Leigh won Oscars for which two movies?

GWTW and A Streetcar Named Desire (I missed this one)

4) What element is indicated on the periodic table by the letters Cu?

Copper

5) Name the four largest non-internet retailers in the US.

Walmart, Home Depot, Kroger, Target (I got half right)

6) Simon and Garfunkel changed the name in their hit song to "Mrs. Robinson" after it was picked up for The Graduate. Who was the song originally written for?

Mrs. Roosevelt

7) In 1972, the Miami Dolphins played a perfect season. Who did they beat in the Super Bowl?

Washington Redskins

8) If you were born today, September 11, what is your astrological sign?

Virgo

9) On The Simpsons, who shot Mr. Burns?

Maggie

Mom gets a cookie!

not trivial

2007-09-12T01:00:00.000-04:00

I made it through the day without really mentioning what happened six years ago, or talking about it in depth. This seems to be the preferred mentality of most people I know who were in NYC at the time as well. It's not that we ignore the day or pretend it doesn't exist -- but not being there makes it a different experience. Frankly, I got tired of trying to explain what it was like to everyone last year because no one can ever really understand unless they were actually there for the event and the aftermath. It's no badge of honor. Heck, its the same picture as anyone else has -- those of us who were there just had a little more exposure.

I think I'll leave it at that.

--

I've been on an altered schedule the past few days thanks to the morning manager's illness. I've been on opening shift. Monday was misery because I did a nine hour shift on thirty minutes sleep -- but Tuesday was actually very pleasant. I got a lot accomplished and still had the whole day ahead of me. I even stuck around and got in a solid hour and a half work out.

Which brings me to this: It's just a few days shy of one year since I've had this thing, and shortly I'll be resurrecting the original purpose of why I started it. I'm feeling healthy and stable again for the first time in quite some time, and hopefully it will stick.

--

Went to trivia tonight, hosted by my roommate (his birthday today! tangent: i bought his present today. its PERFECT). Won second place! It's amazing some of the little bits of information that stick in your head. See how you do... answer in the comments -- NO CHEATING!

1) Flight 175 crashed into the south tower of the WTC. Which airline was it?
2) What do the initials stand for in J.D. Salinger's name?
3) Vivien Leigh won Oscars for which two movies?
4) What element is indicated on the periodic table by the letters Cu?
5) Name the four largest non-internet retailers in the US.
6) Simon and Garfunkel changed the name in their hit song to "Mrs. Robinson" after it was picked up for The Graduate. Who was the song originally written for?
7) In 1972, the Miami Dolphins played a perfect season. Who did they beat in the Super Bowl?
8) If you were born today, September 11, what is your astrological sign?
9) On The Simpsons, who shot Mr. Burns?

Winner gets a cookie.

zzzz.

2007-09-10T08:25:00.000-04:00

So impossibly tired. Worked out after work last night, which took a lot out of me. Got home, roommate wanted to go grocery shopping. So we did, came home, put stuff away. I had a pretty tough headache by then -- it was probably about 2:30 am. I popped a couple of Tylenol PM and crawled into bed.

My phone rang about an hour later.

And here I am now, having taken this morning shift instead of sleeping and still fighting against the sedative. There's about three of everything right now because my eyes can not focus.

Hope some relief gets here soon......

because i'm mentally five years old

2007-09-08T22:28:00.000-04:00

The greatest commercial ever made.

Subtle.

2007-09-08T12:55:00.000-04:00

Today is a day to be a hermit. There's a Allman Brothers/Dave Matthews concert in the park this afternoon and we're about 2 hours from complete chaos in midtown Atlanta. The concert organizers are billing this as a 'green event' and trying to convince concert-goers to use MARTA. Anyone with even a cursory knowledge of MARTA knows that's a pipe dream. Public transit in Atlanta is a joke, and the punchline is 'Screw that, I'll drive.'

I'm continually baffled by public office holders who hold such a disdain for mass transit. Atlanta is way behind the curve for a metro area of its size. MARTA could actually be a very well run system with much of the team it has in place if it weren't placed in the lowest tier of priorities by the GDOT. Instead, we get stupid ideas like "let's add another lane to I-75 for a mile and a half -- THAT will solve EVERYTHING!"

I'm not saying that shifting the focus to mass transit will be the magic spell that solves everything, but it will be a step in the right direction. You could even leave the existing MARTA in tact and create a supplemental regional rail system using existing tracks and corridors and alleviate a lot of problems. Atlanta is burgeoning area right now -- but to continue an upward trend, it's time to stop paving so much and start laying the tracks.

suggestions please

2007-09-05T01:11:00.000-04:00

My roommate's birthday is September 11. He's done so freakin' much for me the past year, I really need to get something nice for him. I'm pretty clueless, though.

Any ideas?

and then there were four...

2007-09-04T01:10:00.000-04:00

In the beginning, there was Satine, Tequila, and Sunrise. In November of 2004, I adopted three kitties from the North Shore Animal League. I had only intended on adopting two. Satine was a six month old stunning British Blue whose brothers and sisters had all been adopted -- she was all personality who jumped right into my hand the moment I reached to her. Tequila and Sunrise were 1 year old brothers the league refused to separate. Tequila was a sweet, affable tabby. Sunrise was a very nervy, timid orange kitty. My roommate and I brought them all home one evening and all was well for about twenty minutes.

Sunrise started attacking, unprovoked. My roommates and I all had scratches up and down our arms. At one point, he jumped sweet little kitten Satine -- we yanked him off the attack, at which point he clawed my face -- three long scratches across my cheek. I packed the sadly feral kitty in a case and took him back to the shelter -- unable to help him or provide a home.

Tequila and Satine, however, were the most perfect cats anyone could have asked for. Satine loved any form of affection. Tequila would cuddle up next to you any time you sat down. T would sleep at my feet, Satine would nestle up next to my head and groom me while I slept.

Tequila disappeared one night while being catsat, never to return again. Satine, however, has stayed with me now for nearly six years -- five homes and two states later.

In October of 2003, my friend Catherine called me up and told me she'd found a kitten next to the dumpster at the hospital where she worked. It was barely six weeks old. She had it locked up in her guest room -- she already had four cats and couldn't take another. Could Satine use some company?

I initially said no... but the following weekend, Cath and I went up to Massachusetts for our friend's wedding, and I met Scooter for the very first time.

I couldn't say no. Scooter moved in on Halloween. Satine pretty much hated but tolerated him, which has lasted to this day.

I moved to Atlanta, kitties in tow. Living in my brother's basement, the cats shared space with Dedos, my brother's cat he's had for a million, bazillion years.

Dedos, long accustomed to being the king kitty, responded by peeing on everything.

I moved to Midtown with my current roommate. He has a fluffy black kitty, named Alexander, now 13 years old. Our three cats coexist nicely, Alex and Scooter became buddies before too long.

Cut to about 2 weeks ago. We heard a sad, pitiful, mournful yowl from somewhere in the house. We searched out the cats, who were all quite content, sleeping in their respective spots. We heard it again. It kept coming, at all hours of the night, from underneath the floor. Our basement has barely a crawlspace, so going downstairs to investigate is not really an option. It went on for a couple of hours until the yowls came from a little door in my bedroom the plumbers use to access the pipes for the bathroom.

I opened it up, and out spilled a bedraggled, rough-looking homeless kitten walking on three legs and hiking up his rear left as if it'd been broken.

Of course I fed it. And scratched his ears. And talked to him. And he talked back. A lot.

Long and short of it... we've been adopted. We tried to put him back out but within ten minutes, he'd wriggle back into the basement and to the pipes. When I went to Philadelphia last weekend, my roommate let him in and didn't put him back out.

Meet Tiger.

He's a funny looking little talkative kitten, probably about six months old. He's walking on all fours again, and adjusting quite nicely.

We are well on our way to being that crazy lady with 130 cats that was on YouTube a few weeks ago.

laying low

2007-09-03T13:25:00.000-04:00

Not much to report on my end... I got home after a whirlwind weekend and have pretty much kept quiet since then. Work has been fascinating for everyone else that isn't me. We met our new CEO last week, who seems energized and open to ideas. The other local location has gone through some major staffing changes -- I dodged a bullet when I didn't transfer. I've thought about requesting the transfer now but I like where I am, too. Still weighing the pros and cons there.

I should be getting a decent insurance check soon from the robbery. Not sure what I'll do with it. Buy a new bike? Maybe, but I've gotten by fairly well without one. Get an iPhone? Possibly, my T-mobile contract is up next month and I hate my phone. Get a digital piano? I don't really have any decent creative outlet right now, might be nice.

Ultimately, though, I'll probably sock it away for a while, waiting for the next medical/personal drama/opportunity that comes up.

Once my teeth are paid off, I'll be back in the world of the living, and many of these will be possibilities again even without an insurance check. Not until November, though.

one yes, one no

2007-08-29T01:02:00.001-04:00

I've talked to a couple of people but I haven't really gone into much detail. The bottom line is no, I will not be invading people's homes on that nationally televised talent competition, but I did get quite close. Each station set up at the auditions were manned by two producers. The producers must both be in agreement to put you through to the next round.

I got one yes and one no -- which ultimately means no. I had observed prior auditioners as they made their ways up to the tables and the body language of the producers was always the same -- they would stare disengaged and avoid direct eye contact if they would not put you through. But if they were interested, one would inevitably lean over to the other without taking their eyes off you and begin whispering.

I was the first one from my little group of four that sang. My producers were one little blonde British lady and one rather gruff looking man who looks an awful lot like someone I have a teeny crush on at the gym. These two were very short, and to the point -- no introductions, no names, just sing. I stepped forward. After the first two lines, the blonde Brit smiled broadly, leaned over and started whispering. My 30 second audition expanded to a full minute. I got to the end of the chorus, a natural cut off, and was cut off.

"Thank you! That was really great," said British lady. Gruff man looked disengaged said nothing.

The two girls after me sang so quietly I couldn't actually hear them. The last guy sang a song by Blues Traveler, and had a great quality to his voice. Gruff man sat up and listened for a second, but as his pitch started wavering all OVER the place he withdrew.

British lady leaned over again, looked at me and whispered for another second. Gruff man said three words back to her, and they called us forward. British lady delievered the news.

"Thanks for coming out. You guys are the ones who make this show what it is." She looked directly in my eyes and said "Unfortunately..." paused and returned her eyes forward to address us all inspecifically, "it's a no for all of you."

And that was it. She'd pretty clearly indicated she wanted to put me through but without agreement, there was nothing. As I was walking out I kicked myself for not taking the opportunity to belt out the first three lines of "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" in full Jennifer Holliday voice -- that may have gotten me through, but for the wrong reasons.

So I'm a little disappointed, of course, but I'm happy I did it. I validated myself for the previous bomb and if by some shot I decide I want to try this again next year, I'm better prepared. Like I said to my father... sometimes you have to take the long shots before you get to fire at anything closer.

--

Otherwise, the weekend was just wonderful. It was a whirlwind of activity and a much needed break away from work. I saw Xanadu (wonderfully stupid fun) and Legally Blonde (just kinda stupid), hung out with friends, some of whom I have not seen in 2+ years, laughed until I cried several times, and stayed in a fantastically comfortable hotel in Philadelphia (I highly recommend the Sheraton Four Points to anyone passing through the area). I also realized its not so much New York City that I miss, but the people I know there. I could be anywhere with them and be deliriously happy (don't get me wrong, though -- I miss the city itself, too -- and a useful mass transit system).

I need to find something else to work towards and look forward to, though -- preparing for the auditions gave me a sense of direction I haven't felt in a while. Atlanta has been good for me on many fronts, but has also been incredibly stifling, stagnant, and frustrating, and right now I'm kind of at loose ends without knowing where I want to step next.

almost there

2007-08-21T20:17:00.000-04:00

So I've been doing some juggling... there's just one little piece of the puzzle that's missing at this point. I need a cheap ho/motel in Philly/S. NJ with easy access to SEPTA on Monday night to fly out Tuesday AM.

Once that falls into place, all is a go.

EDIT: And into place it has fallen. Fly in Saturday AM, fly out Tuesday AM.

quick question

2007-08-18T21:41:00.001-04:00

Should I head up to Philly next weekend? I have an opportunity to do so.

oh, and

2007-08-15T13:14:00.000-04:00

The AC finally got fixed last night. Soooo much better.

moving on

2007-08-14T18:56:00.000-04:00

Despite having started antibiotics early on, my strep continues. I've had a searing headache all day and my throat is pretty sore. Only getting three hours of sleep last night was no help, I'm certain.

The auditions came and went -- it was really lovely to sit in a very well air conditioned Georgia Dome for the day -- but twelve hours later, when my moment finally arrived, I could barely hold my head up and had to pee like you wouldn't believe. So, the crux of it all... I screwed it up.

I'm glad I did it. I can at least say I did. On the flip side, it's really disappointing to have an opportunity and not be able to do your best. They move on to Charleston this weekend, then Miami and Philly next weekend... my brother suggested I follow them to try again. It's a nice idea but one that probably won't be able to come to fruition. Next year is my last year of eligibility and I doubt they'll come back to Atlanta, so I'll just write this one off.

So, what's next?

it's not over

2007-08-11T08:37:00.000-04:00

So, obviously, the cycle is continuing. I woke up this morning feeling... streppy. I've had strep throat three times in the last two years. I know what it feels like, and I've got that same feeling now. This time, however, I'm not waiting around to see if it goes away. After the past few months taking that chance doesn't seem very sexy to me. The urgent care down the street opens in about an hour, so I'm going to go take care of it right now while I'm still physically capable.

Idol registration tomorrow. Auditions later in the week. More to come.

EDIT: Just back from the doctor. Body temp is steady at 98.6. No swelling or redness. Doc wondered why I was there. "Trust me," I said. He gave me the strep test and shrugged.

Ten minutes later he came back in rubbing his forehead with a dumbfounded look. "It came back positive. You have strep. How'd you know that?!"

Got my antibiotics. I'll be able to head this off without a problem.

its the heat AND the humidity

2007-08-09T11:46:00.000-04:00

What a terrible time for our AC to go down. It's supposed to be 100 degrees for the next two days.

I can't remember the last time I've been in such oppressive, punch-you-in-the-face kind of heat. It really is almost physically painful to step from lovely air conditioned place of work into muggy heat of night to catch the bus.

violation

2007-08-03T20:08:00.000-04:00

I think my friend Mike had the best response in hearing of my most recent addition to the list of beleaguering things in my life: "Are you sure you did murder a nun in a past life?"

Indeed, if you look at the last two years of my life, the concept of karma has some sort of credence. I have a hard time really committing to the whole idea; I've grown to subscribe to the 'shit happens' clause more often than not. Still, if I did crawl into the 'karma's a bitch' bubble, you can bet I'd be rushing off to have a past life regression done post haste. I might do one anyway just to see what they come up with. I must have been just horrible in the 19th century.

I know a lot of other people who would crumble underneath this. On paper, the last twelve months certainly seems to be absolutely the worst year of my life ever, but it doesn't *feel* like that. I'm not sure if I should chalk that up to the growing experiences that -- depending on how you look at it -- either gave me the emotional strength and stamina to rise above it with a smile on my face, or... have essentially left me emotionally dead inside (this is a joke -- I was emotionally dead years ago [also a joke]).

This is definitely due in large part to the security net I have in place: at work, I'm indispensable. I'm well-insured. I've got a roommate who has stepped up to the plate and taken care of me when I was completely helpless. And I have family who has rallied their support around me.

Though I can't help but wonder if any of this would have ever happened if I hadn't left New York...

--

So Tuesday night, I'm arriving home at about quarter past midnight after a long day at work. As I approach the front door, I notice its slightly ajar -- closed against the frame, but just a nudge would open it back up. I figured the roommate has come home from the store and is unloading groceries. I pushed open the door and called out his name. No response. The door on the DVD cabinet is standing open, and the door to the back porch is unlocked. I poked my head outside to see if he was outside; he is not.

I go back towards the kitchen, calling his name. As I entered the dining room, the silverware drawer is open, and the two junk drawers on the buffet are as well. Roommate's bedroom door is open. I call his name again. I stepped into his room. All of his dresser drawers have been pulled out. On the bed are two big souvenir Coke bottle banks from the world of Coke, emptied out. I grab my phone. No answer.

"Joe*, call me immediately. I think someone's broken in."

I went into my room. Several of my drawers have been pulled open. My drawer of random documents has been opened. My old passport is on the floor. Letters, lyrics, old bills are strewn on the dresser. My Bank of America debit card, which was on my desk, is missing.

I call Joe* again. This time, he picks up. Laughter and music in the background, and I brace myself to ruin what is certainly a fun night out.

"Please tell me you were frantically searching for something you lost earlier today."
"No...why?"
"Come home right now. There's drawers open and stuff out of place. Your room is a mess." I went back into his room to describe what I see. "Your drawers are all open. Clothes on the floor. Both our change banks are empty on your bed. Empty plastic box... what the...? My debit card is on your dresser!"
"Call the police! I'll be home in 5 minutes."

Called 911 and started the ball rolling. I walk around and start to notice almost every little thing. The kitchen window is cracked and looks to have been pried open from the top. Roommate's camcorder bag is out and camcorder is gone -- but charger and tapes are not. The lid to my change bank is on my bed, but the bank itself is on Joe's bed.

Joe* gets home before the police arrive. I show him everything and we start to try and identify what's missing. The camcorder had been stashed in his closet, but was now gone. The police officer arrived and looked around. He asked what had been stolen. At that point, all we'd found missing was the camcorder and the change. He went out to the car to start filing everything and told us to come out if we found anything else missing.

I went through my papers -- everything was in place. Joe was in his room going through his secretary desk and called out "My credit cards -- gone."

I walked through the kitchen. They left the silverware -- antique silver. We're dealing with someone truly stupid here, apparently. I went into the laundry room for a second. Joe came out of his room and joined me.

"Weird. They went through all my drawers, stole my credit cards and some jewelery, but left a digital camera and an iPod sitting in plain view on the dresser."
"Looks like they didn't get anything in here."
"Prime... your bike."

He was right. I was standing exactly where my bike is stored. It is gone.

All told, our robber(s) caused a little over $1,000 in theft and damage. My bike, Joe's credit cards, camcorder, jewelery, about $150 in spare change, and both of our man-purses (presumably to carry the stolen change from the banks). A cracked window and damaged frame in the kitchen need to be replaced. There is still the potential for more things to show up missing -- it'll be one of those things where we suddenly realize some gadget we use every six months suddenly isn't there.

The police officer said we'd hear from investigators the next day. We're three days later and have heard nothing. I guess this case won't be investigated. Its frustrating too, because that window probably has scores of fingerprints on it, along with our dressers.

We didn't lose much, in the grand scheme of things. What's more baffling is what was left behind: aside from the camera and iPod, they also left a laptop (sitting on the living room couch), Playstation II, DVD player, stereo system, 2 desktop computers, antique silverware, and a massive DVD collection worth maybe $5,000. Weirder still, aside from drawers pulled out and papers in general disarray, our robber(s) left things generally in decent order -- no furniture shoved around, no lamps knocked over -- the window was even pushed back closed so kitties wouldn't get out (Daa -- kitties are fine).

Joe* and I stayed up another four hours after the police left trying to straighten up a little and figure out if anything else was taken. I fell into bed around 5:30am, Wednesday morning -- more of an exhausted unconscious state than actual, restful sleep.

And now, since then, the walk home from work has been kind of agony. My head swims with what I might find when I open the door. Sleep at night is not very restful but it's getting better. I walk down the street and can't help but wonder if every person I pass is the asshole who did this. I'm trying not to let paranoia seep in but those thoughts are appearing. More than anything, the general sense of violation is rattling, and getting comfortable again is going to take a while.

We had homeowner's insurance, but they're looking for documentation on EVERYTHING. My bike meets the deductible by itself, but hell if I know where the receipts are. This could be a pain and I may just have to cut the loss.

We're both shaken, but aware of how much worse it could have been. Thanks to everyone who's called or emailed or commented.

worst. robbery. ever.

2007-08-01T01:11:00.000-04:00

Someone broke into our house tonight. Some things missing, but not much.

Very strange. More to come.

is this better?

2007-07-28T01:28:00.001-04:00

I saw the movie tonight... a lot of fun. Nothing earth shattering or anything but some nice payoffs to gag set-ups. What'll be REALLY interesting to see is how this affects the series.

sabotage

2007-07-24T21:33:00.000-04:00

I'm really beginning to get to the point that I don't want to be at this job anymore. Everytime I re-engage they do something else really really stupid, throw us under the bus, and then back down after months of arguing. There's so much potential that continually gets chipped away, but rather than speak to the people who have to actually deal with their decisions, they maintain a near-perfect ignorance of what we're doing, who we're dealing with, and general market knowledge.

Time to plan the exit strategy. I've been through this too many times already.

medical update

2007-07-24T13:22:00.000-04:00

Doctor's visit today -- I'm clear for full physical activity. I must say, working in a gym is probably the perfect place for me right now. I'm going to talk to the PT manager today about who would be the best trainer for rehabilitative work to build my strength back up.

The x-ray did reveal a chip in the one of the bones, which will take a long, long time to heal fully. Considering the extent and nature of the break, this was to be expected, and thanks to the metal plates I'm properly supported.

I'm due back in three months for another set of x-rays. Though there's nothing indicating it's happening, there's still a possibility my body will reject the metal plates and screws -- and if so, I'll require another set of surgeries to remove them. Until then, all is well with the arm. I'm looking forward to getting back into the groove of physical activity.

The staph has cleared up as well, it seems, though the spot is still occasionally itchy. I'll probably go in later this week to get it stitched up.

And so it goes.

odds and ends

2007-07-23T02:05:00.000-04:00

Hairspray was a fun little movie, but having seen the stage show twice and the original countless times, I was a little disappointed. Anyone who doesn't have the same background with it as I do will love it. And in spite of myself, I really enjoyed John Travolta's performance.

I've had James Taylor's Fire and Rain running through my head all day. Don't know why. That was the song that made me break down when my grandma Roz died, and because of that, the last line gets to me every time I hear it.

I'm back to being mentally invested in work again. The past couple of months (consistent with my injury) have seen me totally tune out from what I was doing. It's nice to be involved and engaged again, it makes the day go much faster. Wouldn't you know it would coincide with one of my employees having a nervous breakdown? Sigh, this week's gonna be a barrel o' monkeys.

Kathy Griffin comes to town next month. Most people I know hate her, but god, I love that woman. I didn't get to Dreamgirls this weekend, so probably next Saturday instead.

Simpsons movie comes out on Friday! Woohooooo! That picture from the previous entry came from Simpsonizeme.com -- you plug in a picture and it turns you into a Simpsons character. My original one gave me a stoner beard and short black hair -- neither of which I have (right now)... but it luckily lets you customize and what you saw is what I came up with. I think it's pretty close, even without the eyebrow piercing.

d'oh!

2007-07-22T00:33:00.000-04:00

For those who are curious, this is about as close to an actual picture of myself you're gonna get.

get this party started...

2007-07-19T11:34:00.000-04:00

I've been so tired this week. I don't know why. Just a quickie today, I have to go to a meeting at work soon...

Thing making me deliriously happy for no apparent reason:

Dame Shirley Bassey's new album. Check out this video on YouTube of her cover of "Get The Party Started" by Pink.

Thing making me sad:

Rose's Turn is closing. I was more regularly found at the Duplex and Marie's Crisis, but I've stopped by Rose's on many occasions and knew several people who work there. Always a good time. The New York I knew and loved is dying off, slowly -- Helen's has also closed up shop, I worked there for about six months.

--

American Idol auditions are coming through Atlanta next month. I've never done it before, I think it might be kind of fun. I'm thinking of Country Road, by James Taylor -- keyed up two steps.

This weekend -- Hairspray at the movies, Dreamgirls at the Fox...

breaking the silence

2007-07-14T23:48:00.000-04:00

I like to think that I often have things figured out in the world. I'm pretty secure in my own identity. My intuition about people and situations are generally on point. I know, more or less, where I stand, and sometimes I even have a faint idea as to where I want to go next. I learn from my experiences and mistakes and try not to repeat them (though it doesn't always work out that way). In my circle of friends, I'm often regarded as the one who's got the most common sense perspective and I'm often asked for advice in areas I have little personal experience with but a whole heap of observation.

In short, I feel like I just understand it on some level.

And then, every once in a while, something comes along that exposes me as the fraud I am. This past week, my family suffered a great tragedy. One of my cousins and her husband drowned on Monday.

She was part of the family but not familiar to me, a fact I'm loath to admit. I still don't know if she was a second or third cousin, or if she was removed at any point -- but she was family. I, like many others in my branch of the family, had absolutely no idea what to say... so, for quite some time, I said nothing.

I felt like anything I put out there would ultimately be disingenuous. I was (and still am) ashamed of my own ignorance, and in a matter of seconds it was fully exposed in my own head. I'd met her on a handful of occasions but only particularly remembered one. Her sister (another cousin of indeterminate times and removal) and I bonded over a 4th of July gathering at the lake house some ten years ago. I saw her again at my grandmother's funeral in 2000, and... well, that was it.

But it occurs to me... no one ever knows what to say. For all our artful conversation and witty banter, when the spectre of death and tragedy appears, our seemingly endless basins of vernacular dry up, and we're left blathering fools -- standing unprepared and exposed. I lived in New York on September 11th, and witnessed the death of nearly 3,000 out the window of my apartment. You would think that some manner of perspective might be gained by that, some script might be able to generate, but it doesn't. And I'm cast into a stony, unwilling silence I wait a week to break.

So here I am, wholly unprepared, and here it is.

Events like this remind us that not everything is going to make sense. Life can't be understood, no matter how hard we try to force it. We can only live simply, and simply live. The second and third hand stories I've heard about Mark and Beverly are testaments to remarkable people who not only touched, but gave life to those around them.

I didn't know them, but for those of you who did, my deepest condolences. I wish I knew something better to say.

2007-07-05T20:57:00.000-04:00

COMMON USES: This medicine is a rifamycin antibiotic used to treat tuberculosis, as well as treat those who have been exposed to meningitis-causing bacteria before they become sick.

--

Serious stuff. This is one of three prescriptions given to me by my doctor this afternoon. We also did a culture to determine exactly what's going on. The hope is it's just a drug-resistant staph, because the treatment I've just started will knock it out.

If not?

Well, we're not asking that question yet. My timing remains impeccable, though. If I'd waited another day it's very likely I'd have ended up in the hospital instead of a dermatologist's office. My right thigh has swollen up like a balloon, and it feels like it's spread to my knee.

And of course, I had to be responsible last weekend and pay off all my bills and my rent. Never occured to me that I'd have to shell out for copays and prescriptions out the nose again. My parents saved the day again. They're amazing people. I really hope I get to go down to FL next weekend.

unhappy returns

2007-07-04T21:38:00.000-04:00

Hey, remember that staph infection that I had at the beginning of last month?

It's back. Boy, is it back. My thigh is very, very swollen, and it's hurting a lot. Off to the doctor tomorrow morning. I've got a crater in my leg you could probably fit a pea into.

Remember further back about talking about how broke I was? Something like eighty bucks for two weeks? Yeah, after tomorrow's doctor's appointment and inevitable prescriptions, let's try $20 for a week and a half. IF I'm lucky.

Never ask if it gets any worse. It inevitably will. This streak has gone way past unlucky and straight into beleaguered territory. Why doesn't this damn cycle STOP?! Just a little break, seriously, that's all I need. Healthy for three weeks, that's all I ask.

--

Incidentally, its my first year in nearly a decade I haven't been in NYC for the fourth of July. I'm not doing anything special (see aforementioned lack of money) tonight, but I wish I were. I miss sitting on the rooftops watching the fireworks over the river with a bunch of friends.

WANT THAT!!!!!!!!

2007-07-01T12:12:00.000-04:00

One of my co-workers got the iPhone.

I generally resist the faddish crazes but after seeing it with my own eyes, I can now comfortably say, for the first time since I was 13:

I WANT THaAAAAAAT!

I'm not rushing out to buy it now, but I'll consider it when they come out with the 30gig version so I can simply replace my iPod (which has seen some better days). I'm still under contract with T-Mobile, too, so I've got a while to wait and save up -- and let cooler minds decide.

--

In other news, I'm soo over work right now. Anyone who knows me well enough knows I go through periods of disillusionment with work no matter what I'm doing, so this too shall pass. Ultimately, I just need a decent vacation. I've been working way too much and need a break. Oh, and to fire some people who are totally useless. My hands are tied by paperwork, though, which is frustrating.

The vacation is not in the card until at least October or November, though. With my dental payments and rent and whatever else, the raise I got is actually accounting for *less* money in pocket than before.

Sigh.

Life.

it's still necessary

2007-06-25T10:54:00.000-04:00

Despite the last minute plan changes and such, I was still able to get out and have a good time this weekend. Six Flags was a lot of fun -- enough so that my roommate and I upgraded our tickets to the season pass, and that we'll be heading back out there a few more times. Plus, if I make it up to NYC or Chicago this summer, I can use it at the parks up there too. We slept late on Friday and didn't make it to the park until about three. A lot of the gays had headed home to get ready for their parties at that point, but that also meant much, much shorter lines for the rides. I avoided the ones that did a lot of jerky movement or required you to hold a bar to ride it out of deference to my broken arm, but did get to hop on a couple of the biggies, since they strap you in with a harness and you're not really required to hold on tight -- the ride holds on to you instead.

Saturday was the endless day at work. I had to wake up around 6 am to get in, and though I was supposed to be able to leave at 2, I didn't get to exit the building until 4. It was a long, frustrating day, but once I was done, I headed straight for the park. It was brimming with people from all over, even ran in to some people who'd come down from Detroit for the festivities. The festival had every imaginable business and every imaginable bit of swag. The tent for for the Atlanta Gay Men's Chorus was playing a video from their most recent concert and as I walked past, "Schadenfreude" from Avenue Q was playing. Of course, I grabbed my phone and telephoned my friend Mark, who happens to be the conductor and assistant musical director of that show and held up the phone so he could listen.

Also present: the protesters. A group of about 15 of them, holding up signs that take scripture out of context and claiming it means we're going to hell, stood at the entrance to the park accosting the revelers. I was struck by the irony that they've now evolved into the marginalized minority. Every few minutes someone would argue with them -- no, it's you who's going to hell, for preaching hate...

Pride began as a political statement -- it marks the Stonewall riots, which began when a bunch of drag queens, mourning the death of Judy Garland, fought back at the police when they raided their bar. Over the years, it has evolved from a march of defiance into a weekend long party, reveling in our identity and the thousands of tiny differences amongst each other. We've come quite a long way since that summer in the late sixties, but there's still quite a way to go. Georgia still has no anti-discrimination act on it's law books -- meaning if I worked for a less progressive company, I could be fired solely on the basis of sexual orientation, unrelated to job performance, and it's all perfectly legal (there are only three other states similarly lacking).

The argument over gay marriage remains political fodder, with people still screaming that the gay community wants special rights and special treatment -- which is patently false. We just want the same rights and privileges that are extended to anyone else. The recent invoking of miscegenation laws to uphold bans, to me, is particularly disgusting.

So what does it all mean? Simply put, though Pride is now more or less a sweaty midsummer party with corporate sponsorships, it's not time to bury its roots in activism. The loudest cheers at Sunday's parade were reserved for the PFLAG (Parents and Families of Lesbians And Gays) groups. You hear all the time that people's minds are changed by actually having a gay son or daughter, brother or sister. It's time now to take the next step.

spoke too soon

2007-06-21T23:10:00.000-04:00

So just as I'm primed and ready for my three day weekend, someone's grandma has to up and die. So much for that idea. I'm working Saturday (the least planned out day, anyway, so no big deal). This will parlay into a three or four day weekend sometime in July, though, and probably a roadtrip to FL if I can time it right.

I noticed a couple of days ago that my painkiller prescription was almost down to its last few pills. I have a refill left, but when I noticed it I figured it wouldn't be necessary, since I hadn't taken one in at least a week and a half if not more. Cut to today, where the after effects of my exercises have me swollen and in pain, necessitating a steady stream of pills today and a trip to the pharmacy tomorrow to get that refill after all. Damnit.

I'm still going to Six Flags tomorrow, right? That hasn't changed yet. I'm waiting for that 2am phone call, though. Fingers crossed it doesn't, I need a break.

so much...more

2007-06-21T01:09:00.000-04:00

There's quite a lot bouncing around in my head right now. Some of it is very exciting, some of it is stuff I probably shouldn't know about but could have a tremendous impact over the next couple of weeks. It could be terrific, or it could be something I really don't want to happen. And it could all be negated by something else a few months further down the road. And, of course, none of it is anything I feel at liberty to talk about any further right now.

I've been doing my exercises recommended by my doctor, and I'm amazed at how quickly my range of motion is coming back. My thirty degree rotation has grown to sixty! The stretches can hurt a lot though, so I keep the painkillers close by. Bit by bit, things are returning to normal.

It's been an exhausting week. Sunday, after work, my roommate and I set to getting the condo ready for out of town visitors for Pride. We started painting the dining room, which is now a very sexy dark red (Chinaberry...yum). As we're working on it, around 1:30am, my phone rings. I have different ringtones for different groups of people... the one that went off is "I Write Sins, Not Tragedies..."

"I chime in with a 'haven't you people ever heard of
Closing the god damned door?'
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality..."

I use it for work-related stuff. I looked at my roommate before I picked up and said "It's Janet* and I'm opening the club in three and a half hours."

The premonition was right. I decided to stay up, since opening the club means having to leave the house by 4:15am. And since we'd been painting, I'd need a shower. At 1:30am, setting the alarm clock for 3:45 seems like a fool's errand. So we finished painting, and I schlepped off to work, powered by Diet Coke and a large coffee.

I made it through the day until about 10am, when I finally lost the ability to focus my eyes. At 11, my relief came in... I took care of the bank deposits, headed home, and promptly fell asleep until 9pm.

Now fully awake, I decided I'd start painting my room, inspired by the fantastic results of the dining room. Another fool's errand, wrestling the bed and bookshelves took me at least an hour thank to my weak arm, and before I knew it, it was 6am and only half finished. I slept, though not enough to reset my body clock.

I got into work, and the first thing I got to do was sit down with my boss and plan out how we're going to fire someone. It's such a rotten thing, a necessary evil. Despite all the depictions of bosses as megalomaniac tyrants in the media, I can assure you no matter how miserable a job someone is doing, telling them to go away is the worst...

Got home, finished painting, back to bed at 6 am again... back to work... and the boiler dies. No hot water. At all. In a gym. Second time in two weeks, so now I'm navigating angry people who for whatever reason think it's something I'm doing specifically to spite them.

Tomorrow? Dental appointment. And we have a manager who's out on vacation this weekend, so I'm working an extra two hours. But then... a three day weekend of fun and festivities! Starting Friday, with a trip to Six Flags. I'm still hampered by the arm, so a lot of the rides are going to be out of the question for me, but a theme park filled with homos? Good times! Saturday is the festival in the park, and Sunday is the parade. I've been needing a decent break for a long time -- and not one where I'm recovering from something. I can't wait.

so much

2007-06-16T18:02:00.000-04:00

Seems I was the victim of juxtaposition in the last post... so I'll clarify. The plane tickets for a jaunt to NYC for Gypsy are over $250. It's not happening. It was most a wistful 'damn, wish I could' intent than anything else. Jerry Springer the Opera has been held over in Chicago through August, though, so that could still happen. We'll see. On top of that, locally, there's Jennifer Holliday in Dreamgirls next month and Kathy Griffin is popping into the Fox in mid-August... so even if I don't get to travel much, I'm set for some fun.

Next weekend is Pride, and I managed to wrangle a three day weekend for the festivities -- by working last night for the gal who's working for me next Sunday. Turns out, it was a mistake. Most of the night was quite pleasant, albeit very, very dull. About 45 minutes from closing time, a woman walked in, clearly very irate. This doesn't phase me, I'm very good at being able to wrangle angry customers in and make them feel like sunshine and lollipops by the time they leave.

She'd lost her debit card a few months back, and our billing department had given her a call to let her know her card was no longer debiting and her account was now delinquent. She gave them the new card information to bring her account current again. The card was then used for her monthly dues. THREE MONTHS LATER, she decides that she didn't authorize the transactions and starts making a fuss (incidentally, she was only five months into an 11 month contract), demanding refunds and to be let out of the contract. I explained the policies regarding auto-debits, cancellation clauses, what we'd need from her to clear her account fully -- but she was having none of it. The calmer I was, the louder she got, until...

"JUST GIVE ME THE GOD DAMN FORM, FAGGOT."

You know, I've been gay for 27 years now. Only once did anyone call me a faggot -- I was 13 and some highschoolers yelled it at me from a car. I wasn't really certain of being gay at that point I didn't really know what it meant. This time, I knew. I've always been a person to brush off words as just words -- no big deal -- but you never really fully grasp the implications of something like that until it's thrown in your face, dripping with venom.

It took everything I had not to throw the stapler in my hand at her head.

Instead, I crumpled up the form and refused to help her any further. I said I wasn't about to put up with insulting or abusive language, and that it was time for her to leave. She refused, and then started shoving her camera phone in my face "so I can prove I was here and
you were HARASSING ME." I ducked, weaved, and then handed a blank form to her to distract her from trying to take my picture. She started scribbling furiously, and I called the police to have her escorted out of the building.

She left before the police arrived. I called them back and let them know it was no longer necessary for them to come. One member who witnessed the whole thing told me to report her for harassment, but I chose not to. I'd rather her play by the rules of her contract and be stuck than to kick her out.

I need a vacation.

been awhile

2007-06-12T12:41:00.001-04:00

I'd post if there was really anything to say, which there's not. I continue to work. I continue to heal. I come home late at night and sleep late into the morning. The staph has healed up, so I just gotta get the stitches pulled soon.

I went back to my surgeon this morning for a check up -- he says I'm probably about 80% healed up, and the pain that I'm experiencing now is more from muscle atrophy than the break. He recommended physical therapy, since I can only turn my wrist about 30 degrees (normal is 90).

PT is covered by my insurance at a $30 copay, but considering I'd need to do it 2-3 times a week... an extra $240ish monthly isn't easy to come by. He gave me some exercises and stretches I can do instead which should help. Factor that I'm still paying off my dental bill, and my rent's going up a tick next month... whatever raise I got has essentially been obliterated for the time being.

Noah called the other day to let me know he scored free tickets for Gypsy at City Center starring Patti LuPone next month. Most readers have no idea what this means, but I'm chomping at the bit to get cheap plane tickets and a couple of days vacation. I'm still coveting a Chicago trip, too, but that's not in the cards.

not enough

2007-06-02T00:16:00.000-04:00

You'd think recovering from a broken arm would be enough, but nnnnnooooooo...

I went to the dermatologist today to get a few more vicral stitches removed (they keep surfacing! I want to heal, damnit! I've already had this done once two weeks ago) and took the opportunity to ask about an ingrown hair that developed Wednesday, and by Thursday, had gotten very swollen and painful. She took not even a three second look at it and said "It's developed into an abscess, and you've got a staph infection. I'm surprised you're even walking."

A freakin' STAPH INFECTION?!

Walking was very tough, granted. It was hurting a lot. And despite my excellent hygiene, with my immune system working overtime to heal my arm, it's not such a bizarre thing that something else could move in and set up shop. What's more remarkable is that something else didn't move in once the respiratory infection was knocked out and that I've stayed relatively well for as long as I have.

It's not severe. I'm on another round of antibiotics for it. Meanwhile, she cut out the abscess and stitched me up, and in a couple of days I won't even remember it was there at all.

--

In other news, my raise kicked in with this paycheck. What a difference! To celebrate, Mo and I went and bought paint -- he did the kitchen last week. Dining room this weekend, and my room...whenever I have strength enough to move my bed. The bed lies in a nook with big sunny windows on two walls, so I chose a deep hunter green to take advantage of the natural light without overpowering a morning sleep in. The rest of the room will be the same color as the kitchen -- a nice light blue with the charming name of 'Grandma's Sweater."

Benjamin Moore needs to lay off the pot.

i'd like to buy the world a coke

2007-05-28T15:12:00.000-04:00

The weekend with Noah was great fun. I finally went to the Georgia Aquarium, and I'm considering getting a membership. It was fascinating, beautifully laid out and executed. Even the Beluga whales pooping in the tank seemed like it was some part of a larger master plan. It's also a great backdrop for photography, I'll put some up later on.

We also popped into the new World of Coke -- it was their opening weekend, and Cirque du Soleil was on hand to do acrobatics on the plaza. I'm not really sure what the tie-in was, but it was fun. You enter into a loft area that's crammed with artifacts and ads from the decades -- and our official welcomer pointed out two adverts from the late 20s that featured Joan Crawford, apparently unaware of the irony of it all.

The new museum features a lot of the same memorabilia as the old one, but also includes a working bottling line (which was broken on its second day, go figure) and a 3D short-feature that was short on plot but high on propaganda and contrived actors...and kinda spiffy effects. Finally, you wind up in the TasteIt lounge, with fountains set up for each of the continents (except Australia, conspicuously absent... Pepsi fans?). North Americans are so limited in their soda choice. You wind up with a free bottle of Coke to take home and an exit through an over-stuffed Coke store with every imaginable product tie-in possible. It was an enjoyable couple of hours but I still prefer the Guiness factory tour in Dublin -- nothing can beat the ice-cold Guiness in the roof lounge at the end of it all.

The Jazz Festival was this weekend. I live right by the park so it was enormous lines of traffic all around the neighborhood. Occasionally not knowing how to drive pays off.

And in arm news, it's been about six weeks since I was discharged from the hospital. Some of my faculties are coming back. I can make a tight fist again. My thumb extends a little further than it did a few weeks ago, and the searing pain has mostly subsided. It's still swollen and there's still a lot of stiffness, particularly in my wrist. My arm is a minefield of ingrown hairs thanks to the Dial soap I've had to use on the incision. On occasion, my fingers will get numb and tingly, but apparently this is normal. I've gotten used to being broken, so it's strange to feel like I can actually DO something (and also being fully aware that I can't). I'm going back to the surgeon on the 12th, more x-rays, and see where I stand.

Finally, it's Memorial Day. I can't bring myself to say "Happy Memorial Day!" because it kind of contradicts what Memorial Day is supposed to be. I have two military brothers, 1 former and 1 current, and I'm lucky they're still around. Regardless of your opinion of the current war, take a moment to reflect on those who have worked tirelessly to keep us safe (no matter how misguided the commanding officer may be).

indescribable

2007-05-25T12:03:00.000-04:00

This guy has a whole series of videos on YouTube, and I don't really know what to say about this except....whoa, awesome.

milestones

2007-05-24T01:09:00.000-04:00

1) This is post number fifty.

2) Apparently, earlier this month, I passed my 10,000th day on earth. Must remember to plan a party for 15,000.

constant craving

2007-05-19T18:59:00.000-04:00

My childhood memories are pretty much swiss cheese -- full of holes. I can only remember teensy bits and pieces from before I was thirteen years old. Every once in a while, though, something will set me off and I'll remember something so vividly that I'd forgotten so long ago.

Today, I was scanning a message board I like to frequent, and one of the topics was when you can first tell a child will grow up to be a homosexual after observing her three year old niece develop a crush on a female friend of the family.

That question triggered this memory:

My mother had these enormous magenta and purple mu-mus with appliqué flowers that she used as a nightgown. I loved wearing them because a) they were so comfortable, and b) when I spun around the dress spread out around me, and I thought I looked like k.d. lang in one of her music videos where she did the same thing.

I also thought k.d. lang was a boy at the time.

But, now, in retrospect, a little boy who loves k.d. lang music videos... yeah, that's probably a very clear indication you'll grow up homo.

Despite what the religious right desperately asserts, sexuality is completely by nature, not nurture. My parents raised five straighties ahead of me and I somehow don't think they accidentally bred me as an aberration. Nor is it a choice; as I explained to my father at one point, why would I wake up one morning and actively decide to be a social pariah?

In this political season, I wish that people would realize this. I once explained to my very conservative brother that though I may share some similar points of view with the conservative line of thought, I can never, ever, ever cast a vote for someone who views me as less deserving of a right or a privilege because of something I have no control over. Ron Paul's performance at the Republican debates last week was eye-opening, but a look back on his congressional record concerning gay issues is moreso, and puts him quite at odds with the man he wants everyone to think he is.

payday

2007-05-19T14:41:00.001-04:00

Ahh, fiscal comfort once again. I had a nice surprise in there too, a retroactive raise from the performance reviews earlier in the year. It's not a big shift but 5 months worth of minuscule back pay adds up. The actual raise (knock wood) should kick in next pay period.

I've opened my account with SunTrust and I'm keeping it simple for the time being. Bank of America is still open right now, but that's only because my change in direct deposit hasn't taken effect yet. Once it does, I'm outta there.

Yesterday was a nice day. With my unexpected windfall, I treated myself to a manicure (I haven't been able to bite my nails with my new teeth and they've gotten quite long) and bought my roommate some concert tickets he's been salivating over as a thanks for everything he's done for me. Some of my sub-dermal stitches had come to the surface, so I needed to go to the doctor to get them removed. Between that and the manicure, my arm had been manhandled by the end of the day and oh, I was feeling it.

Everything in the condo is on the fritz right now. The AC needs a new compressor (luckily it has only topped out at 75 degrees the past few days)... the jacuzzi tub wouldn't jacuzz. DirecTV isn't picking up the signal anymore. Roommate was smart to get a home warranty when he bought the place and now we're jacuzzing happily and the new compressor is on its way. DirecTV? Well, that's not so simple. We have to cut down a tree. It has grown in the past year and now completely blocks the dish. I've been trying to convince roommate that cable is a much more viable (and less expensive) option, but so far, to no avail.

And Noah is here on Thursday! So excited!

2007-05-18T00:33:00.000-04:00

Things have calmed down considerably and I'm beginning to have that free-spirited fun at work again. It's a weird state of being right now, I'm bouncing around and enjoying myself, but at the same time I'm still on the occasional painkiller, which makes me depressive. I'll use up all my happy at work and by the time I get home I'm gloomy as anything.

I got some unexpected face time with a very higher up today... she was formerly the NYC veep, now she's the national director of training and staff development. She's one of those people who says something and it gets done with no questions asked. She's been around long enough that everyone knows she knows exactly what she's saying. It started out with her asking about what happened to my arm, then about what the heck I was doing in Atlanta, and it went from there. I recounted my history with the company, and she listened intently. I mentioned applying for the software trainer position and emphasized my background in corporate training.

Her parting words to me: "I'll be thinking about you!"

Guess I said the right stuff, huh?

good news

2007-05-17T12:05:00.001-04:00

Noah's coming to visit next weekend! Hooray!

defensive

2007-05-16T11:56:00.000-04:00

Don't worry, I'm not quitting my job yet. My major concern was that my higher-ups weren't going to take appropriate action -- I've seen it happen before on lesser problems. But, I've been taking statements from witnesses to get our attacker removed permanently, and though it isn't official yet, he's been told by the company vice president to stay away. So far, he has.

He's a long time member who's actually been pretty nice, though you could always tell when he'd fallen off the wagon. His eyes would change, his normally carefree attitude dissipated. I don't know him well enough but I've been told it's coke and heroin. Chances are he probably doesn't even remember why he's being kicked out.

This whole experience (and the testimonials from family) has made me think its time to get back into some self defense / martial arts courses. Had I not been injured I would have been able to diffuse a physical situation effectively, but a brush up is not a bad idea. Finding one that will mesh into my schedule might be difficult though.

--

And in completely unrelated un-news... I have always been a complete klutz. Whether it's crashing my bike or falling over for no apparent reason or tripping over the perfectly smooth floor... almost daily there's some event that reinforces the notion that I have little to no control over my extremities. My equilibrium is always just a little bit off.

Yesterday, talking to a co-worker, a possible reason dawned on me -- see, for the first three years of my life I was deaf. I had fluid in my ears that blocked the passage of sound. The fluid was drained and I hear fine, but the next 12 years or so were a parade of constant ear infections.

So, MAYBE I'm not just uncoordinated. Maybe there's actually a feasible scientific explanation. And it only took me 25 years to figure that out.

passed

2007-05-15T13:59:00.000-04:00

When Joan Crawford died, Bette Davis basically treated it as an event worthy of celebration. One of her friends stopped her and said "You know, when someone dies, you're only supposed to speak good of them."

Bette's inimitable response: "Joan Crawford is dead. Good."

Now, I'm generally a respectful person, but today's news of Jerry Falwell's death is tempting my inner Bette Davis to come out. He was a vile, hateful man in life and deserves to be remembered as such.

its funny because its true

2007-05-15T10:47:00.000-04:00

I've recently regained a huge love for the comics page after discovering Josh Fruhlinger's Comics Curmudgeon. Heart of the City has a very relevant storyline right now.

I love it. Two days of painkiller jokes. "SPONGEBOB!" in the 4th strip is hilarious to me -- watching Spongebob was, at times, the only way I kept my sanity in the hospital. The third strip reminds me of everyone else I know -- "Dang, its too bad that story's not more interesting."

time to go

2007-05-14T11:17:00.000-04:00

Last night I was physically threatened at my place of work by a guy who was completely strung out on drugs.

Me. The dude with a broken arm. He had his fists cocked and ready when someone else intervened.

I don't get paid enough for this. What else is out there, I wonder...

photographic evidence

2007-05-13T00:39:00.000-04:00

Before anything ever happened, I had nearly perfect teeth. Just a very slight overbite, but everything very even and straight. If you look closely at the left tooth you'll see just a teensy bit of chipping that has happened over the years, but nothing major.

Then the accident. Left me with a very large space between uppers and lowers, and, if you look closely, knocked the top and bottom just slightly out of alignment.

And here we are today. Porcelain crowns, and reshaped bottom teeth. (will get higher-resolution pictures up soon, as well as shots of the crooked plastic caps) They are a different shape from my previous teeth and now I have no noticeable overbite. I'm not used to them yet, but I'm pleased. The lips cover up the very top by the gums, where they've been pushed back. It almost looks like there's decay up there, but really, its just empty space where the gums haven't healed yet.

And since I'm sharing, here's a look at the scars from the surgery. Don't worry, they're not too graphic.

The inside part of the arm. This incision was about six inches long. The dots on either side of the line are where the staples were placed. Supposedly those will fade with time.

And this is the outside of the arm. This incision is about seven inches, and that circle there indicates where the bone punctured the skin (sorry for the mental image)

And, finally, this is a side by side of my arms -- the angle is a little deceptive, but you can get an idea of how much muscle I've lost. I am healing and make a little progress every day, but I'm still very weak and stiff. I tried to turn a doorknob earlier today and couldn't. There's possibility of nerve damage with my thumb but it's still too early to tell. I am particularly glad I wasn't working at a restaurant when this happened, though going on disability for a few weeks would have been a nice, if ultimately inconvenient, break.

2007-05-12T18:50:00.000-04:00

I am so ridiculously in the mood for pizza right now, but I made my first payment on my new teeth and don't get paid again till Friday.

Guess it'll have to wait.

tiny victories

2007-05-10T22:54:00.000-04:00

I got my new teeth!

I went to the dentist's office, about ready to rip out my plastic temporaries myself. They were just slightly crooked and felt terribly unnatural in my mouth. And the dental assist tried to yank 'em too, but the cement proved to bonding to wiggle them out without excruciating pain, so she called Dr. Wingfield in to assist and to numb me up.

Dr. Wingfield is my fabulous gay dentist. He's a talented dentist, and just a bit effeminate. Not over the top, although his first comment when he walked in the room, fists full of novacaine needles, was:

"Oh, my god! I love your shoes!"

Anyway, four painful injections of numbing agents later, he took some blunt object and tapped out my teeth. He checked the coloring of the new teeth against the naturals, which he'd special ordered a shade lighter than mine. His gaydar was as good as mine, he knew that somewhere down the road I would take the step of a bleaching process, and wanted everything to match.

Only a scant 38 minutes later, I left the building with my new teeth glued to my head. They feel natural and look great, except where they had to push the gums back. I've got a few months of healing on these -- basically, by the time I've paid for them, I'll be all healed up.

I promptly went out for a burrito to celebrate regaining the ability to bite and chew... FGD said solid foods were a-okay. Alas, I was still a little swollen, and it hurt. But it still tasted so, so, so good...

effective monday...

2007-05-03T23:23:00.000-04:00

...I will *officially* be the assistant general manager at my job. It's an open secret, everyone already knows, and I've been doing the job already... but it is made official on Monday. A substantial pay raise is also in the works. The timing could NOT be more perfect. With all the dental bills and such I'm paying for over the next few months, it won't feel like I've gotten a raise, but I'll at least be able to sustain.

My arm has been hurting a lot since I got the staples out, and now I'm having a lot of pain in my thumb and wrist joints that wasn't there before. I'm certain that's because my bandages have been a lot looser so they're having to support themselves more than before. Still, I haven't laid off the new pain killers yet because it's terribly uncomfortable without them. Two to three more months of being a one-armed wonder. Hoping for at least a short vacation in June, but we'll have to see how I'm feeling.

loopy

2007-05-01T21:22:00.000-04:00

Wow, my new painkiller prescription is potent. I'm about twenty feet off the ground right now.

convalescence continues

2007-05-01T13:47:00.000-04:00

Went for my surgeon followup today, and also got to take a peek at my x-rays. 2 fractures, one on each bone. You can also see where the bone punctured the skin, which will leave a lovely scar.

The good news is that everything is in alignment -- provided that stays in place, I should make a full recovery without massive limitations on my range of motion (though it will never be back to where it once was, natch). I have about three months of convalescence left, which means I can't use my left arm for anything beyond typing or holding anything that would weigh more than a coffee cup. The doctor also strongly warned me against getting back on the bike any time soon -- any weight on the arm can cause it to fracture again and possibly break the plates as well.

I got a new prescription for pain killers, so I should be doing much better this time next week. I think I finally shook the upper respiratory infection, too.

Its not over, but the deepest part of the woods seems to be behind me now...

progress

2007-04-27T16:36:00.000-04:00

Some progress to report: doing my exercises today I was able to actually make a fist -- not a tight one, but a fist nonetheless! I've regained much of the motion of my fingers -- in fact, I'm typing with two hands right now! I still can't pick things up or rotate my arm, but slowly things are coming back.

I've been sick as a dog -- that persistent cough finally parlayed itself into an upper respiratory infection. I went to the doctor yesterday who gave me some antibiotics and cough meds, but balked at changing my pain medication. He said he prefers pain meds to be handled by one doc only, so I'll talk to my surgeon on Tuesday at my follow-up -- that Percocet really tears me up. I'm now down 15 pounds, and while I did want to lose weight, this probably wasn't the best way to do it.

I finished my course of anti-inflammatory today, finally -- one less pill to keep up with. I'm trying to limit the Percocet as much as possible, but yesterday was a hard day and I'm paying for it now. In good news, I haven't had to take any at all today!

Meanwhile, I'm spending today and tomorrow mostly in bed.

tough...

2007-04-22T21:56:00.000-04:00

I want to keep telling my story of the hospital and surgery and all but this typing with one hand thing makes it very difficult -- that last entry took nearly an hour to write. Rough, since I'm accustomed to being able to type out 80+ wpm.

So, you'll have to suffice with Tarantino-like non-linear storytelling so I can update you on the now while referencing things you don't know about yet. I went to the dentist on Thursday, got two root canals (the nerves were exposed) and fitted with temporary crowns. I go back in three weeks to get the perms put in. I went back to work yesterday and I wasn't ready... I came home and took a six hour nap. I woke up in time to watch Futurama and then back to bed for another ten hours.

And... in the space of the five days since I've been home, I've lost ten pounds. Great diet plan. Terrible way to do it. Full shift at work tomorrow night, I hope I can handle it.

part one: how it happened

2007-04-18T23:32:00.000-04:00

I have the added bonus of living one block away from my crash site. Tonight, on a run for ice cream before South Park started, I wandered over for a moment to see exactly what I hit.

I'd had a really great night leading up to the accident. I'd spent the evening with some newfound friends, met them at a restaurant and had some magnificent pumpkin tortellini with sweet apple cream sauce. It got late, I strapped on the helmet and started cautiously making my way home.

One block from my house, I'm going maybe 12 mph - I decide to pull up onto the sidewalk and cut a corner through a parking lot of a recently closed Church's Chicken. The problem? The street had been recently resurfaced, and the small entrance bump for the parking lot was more of a sharp curb now, much larger than I expected. My front tire sailed into the air and landed askew. I struggled to keep my balance, and I rolled into a dirt bed for one of those sidewalk trees. The tire wedged, I went over the front slightly to the left. My arm hit first, broke both the ulna and the radial, followed by my face cracking and chipping three teeth, and finally skinning up my nose, right palm and left thigh. I laid on the concrete, stunned, feeling nothing but knowing something was terribly, terribly wrong. I heard the sounds of homeless people yelling.

Oh, SHIT! Did you see that!? Damn, whiteboy CRASHED!!

I lifted my head for a moment, saw blood trickle to the pavement and suddenly felt the granules of my broken teeth on my tongue. I started yelling for help, but all that came out was AAAAAAAAHH! AaaAaAAA!!!!!

Cracka, you alright?
No, I can't move, please call an ambulance.
What'd you do?
I think my arm's broken, I can't feel it... call the ambulance please!!
Ok, ok... hey, you got a dollar?
CALL THE FUCKING AMBULANCE NOW SHITFACE, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He called. Meanwhile, I must have had an audience because I heard at least 6 or 7 different voices around me discussing what had happened. About three minutes later a neighborhood patrol (just passing by, can you believe it??) pulled the crowd back and talked to me. Firemen showed up, ambulance, and at some point, I was loaded and taken to the hospital. At first they didn't believe my arm was broken... until I screamed when one tried to move it gently. I was rolled onto a board, immobilized, and off we went.

broken

2007-04-17T13:37:00.000-04:00

For those who didn't know, I've been in the hospital since Friday night. I was in a bike accident and broke both bones in my left forearm. It required surgery, and now I have metal plates in my arm! I've also chipped my front teeth and need to get them capped. BUT.. I'm still in one piece! I was discharged from the hospital this afternoon and will return to work hopefully next week.

Short entries for a while, as i only have use of one hand right now.....

something to think about

2007-04-12T00:54:00.000-04:00

No real updates, but here are two links to get you thinking:

We live in the land of biblical idiots

An intelligent op-ed piece from the LA Times concerning teaching the Bible in schools, and the first time I've reconsidered my stance. I might support the idea if I didn't believe that some teachers would turn it into a revival to spout condemnations of homos, Muslims, abortionists, and anyone else who dares disagree with them.

Diabetics cured by stem-cell treatment

My mother was recently diagnosed with diabetes. I'm all for stem-cell research -- to me, using stem-cells to find cures for diseases is no more playing God than intravenous fertilization. This news comes out of the UK, and it is exciting to think of the possibilities. Cures for AIDS, cancer, heck, even the common cold -- and it is mind-boggling that the US has placed restrictions on furthering research.

small update

2007-04-09T22:52:00.000-04:00

Just a continuance to the BofA story:

I'm lucky enough to have one of the group fitness instructors at my gym also be a branch manager for Bank of America. I told her what happened, and she said, simply:

"I'll take care of it."

That's all I've wanted. A little understanding and flexibility. I've been a good, solid client for them; I've recommended several new customers their way. I deserve that much. I'm saved the hassle of changing banks and I'm more than happy to direct business her way as a result.

Stay tuned.

fume

2007-04-07T15:51:00.000-04:00

I am so angry with Bank of America right now. Last year, after Wachovia put a hold on my paycheck for 16 days without being able to explain why, I hesitantly moved to Bank of America. I'd heard some stories from wars people had with them, but I figured I'd be okay since I wasn't taking out massive loans or playing the stock market. "What can go wrong with a simple checking account?" I foolishly asked.

Truth of it, very little. I've been with them for a year and a half now, and scarcely a problem has arisen...until now.

My direct deposit is set up to put a chunk of my paycheck directly into my savings account. I keep just enough in my checking to get by and make transfers when something larger comes up. I wrote my roommate his rent check at the start of the week, but he didn't deposit it until Thursday afternoon. No problem, the money was still there. Additionally, payday was Friday and the direct deposit would show up in my account at 3am, so there'd be PLENTY of leeway.

Thursday night, secure in this knowledge, I went to Moe's for my dinner break, and the grocery store for some shampoo and bandaids. Friday morning, I logged in to my bank account to see my direct deposit balance, and instead found: 6 cleared transactions. Four earlier purchases came off their pending status, my grocery store trip, and -- get this -- the rent check, deposited at 3pm that afternoon, had CLEARED TWO BANKS in a record time of seven hours.

Long and short of it -- my grocery store trip had unwittingly sent me into the red because I thought (and precedent supported this theory) I had more time. 4 over draft charges, to the tune of $140.

Now, I don't make much money. $140 is a big, big deal to me. It was a silly mistake, of course, and I'm willing to pay one overdraft charge for that silly mistake, considering: 1) the total amount of the overdraft came to only $25. 2) The money overdrawn was replenished in less than three hours. 3) My rent check seemingly defied the laws of physics. 4) There WAS money in my savings account, and enough to cover it (granted, I'm not signed up for the overdraft protection, but with that knowledge you'd think they'd give me the benefit of the doubt). $140, to me, is a ridiculously exorbitant amount for such a piddling amount of money and this set of circumstances.

However, the idiots at the customer service line don't seem to understand the concept of flexibility when it comes to their customers. I've been a solid and reliable customer who misjudged his timing once in a year and a half. I'm even willing to accept responsibility to the tune of an overdraft charge, but I am *not* willing to accept a loss of $140 because a check that normally takes five days to even show up managed to fly between two banks in seven hours.

On paper, they are within their rights. But having spent a great deal of time in customer relations across several different industries, I know that flexibility is just as vital as the written word. Instead of being understanding and attempting to come up with a compromise, I've been pushed out their door and into the loving arms of SunTrust.

third time's a charm

2007-04-06T11:11:00.000-04:00

So I wrote a post yesterday, hopped in the shower and kept on thinking about things I wanted to include, re-write, and change. So, I finished the shower, logged back on, took down the entry and promised a re-write. But then I had to go to work, and as it turns out I've forgotten most of what I'd wanted to change.

It's surreal to have your mother prodding you for an updated blog. For all the years I've spent chronicling my thoughts on the web, by and large, my family has never really been in the audience. I can't say there's a specific reasoning why that's been the case. It seems like, with this incarnation, my family is my *only* audience (with a few random others sprinkled in -- hi TeKay!).

What's even weirder is that I am, by nature, an intensely private and independent person. For all the exposition and meanderings of a web-journal (I hate the word blog), it barely scratches the surface. If I were to die early (not in the plans) I'd have to say my funeral reception would be a fascinating affair, as people from various eras of my life piece together the parts of the jigsaw they have. I've gotten in trouble in the past for putting too much out there; for a great long while I said nothing at all.

--

Work has been alternately frustrating and fantastic. Every time I start to feel like things are going in the right direction the corporate office makes some bonehead move and we're back at square one. There's so much potential, though, and occasionally I get a glimmer of hope that they're beginning to see that.

--

Holiday weekend begins today -- it sneaked up on me this year. I may or may not have to work Sunday morning, I'm not sure yet. We may have a guest popping in from Augusta tonight, so that'll be fun. Otherwise, it's laundry and sleeping in on the agenda.

--

Next season's Broadway tours have been announced for the Fox -- its a fair to middling season, but some decent stuff coming too. Jennifer Holliday will be in Dreamgirls in July -- there's nothing like watching a 45 year old woman re-creating her most famous role 20 years later. This will be, by turns, amazing and horrible. The Wedding Singer comes in October, my friend Alex is in callbacks for Sammy. The Drowsy Chaperone makes an appearance in January (which I've missed on my last three trips to NY), Avenue Q (seen it four times!) shows up in March. The season wraps up with Sweeney Todd in May.

My friend Jason is currently on a tour of Jesus Christ Superstar which I saw in Macon in November. It comes back through Columbus in May and then in early 2008 roosts in Atlanta for a few days. Jason will probably leave the tour before then, which is sad -- it's not a good show, but having him in town would make me very happy indeed.

--

I am now down 10 pounds, after biking a total 102 miles last week. That feels good. My hair has grown out quite a bit and that thin patch at the top is barely noticeable now. It won't be long before I'm devastatingly handsome once again.

try again

2007-04-05T13:03:00.000-04:00

I'll re-write this later, I didn't like how it turned out.

productivity

2007-03-26T00:28:00.000-04:00

After living in this apartment for almost a year, somehow in the past week or so I saw it fit to finally unpack my last few boxes. ...well, most of them, at least. I need some photo albums or something, I've got a box full of photos with no home. This fit was part of a massive spring cleaning initiative I randomly took on one afternoon, and now I'm amid a lovely, clean, comfortable room. With very bare walls.

So I hiked over to Ikea (which I LOVE) and bought a shoe rack, a laundry hamper, a duvet cover, and little square mirrors for the wall. I arranged them in a checkerboard pattern, and it looks great. Next stop is a craft store for a little glass paint, and we'll have stained glass mirrors (something I had back in NY, which worked to great effect)!

My building now has three condos for sale here -- one of which has been on the market for nearly six months now. They've reduced the price again, to $95K. Its a really nice one bedroom, with columns, brand new appliances, and a front porch. My roommate worked out the mortgage -- for 10% down on a 30 year lease, it'd be less than $600 a month, less than what I paid in rent in NYC.

I have never really rolled the prospect of buying around in my head (nor am I going to act on this) but if I had the 10% readily at my disposal right now I might seriously consider it. With the way the property values in this neighborhood are generally on the rise (a momentary backslide right now, granted) -- even if I'm only there for a short time, a tidy profit could be made.

But really? Homeowner? Perish the thought. But I look at this and see something achievable, something to aim toward. And how it might not be so difficult after all.

This growing up thing scares me.

the name was apt

2007-03-14T13:18:00.000-04:00

I named my cat Satine, after the whore in Moulin Rouge. She's stunningly beautiful, LOVES attention, and will snuggle up next to anyone if the price is right. Generally, the price is a scritch on the head or a thorough brushing.

She's had a persistent upper respiratory thing -- lots of cat boogers and sneezing -- on and off for the past three years or so. I took her to a vet over the summer, who prescribed some pills. They worked, but a few weeks later she was plugged back up. And I found little pills that had been coughed back up under the bed and behind various pieces of furniture. So the antibiotic course wasn't completed and she was her old snotty self again.

Back to the vet -- same clinic, different doctor. He listened to the symptoms, checked her breathing...

Herpes.

Feline herpes. Its a viral infection that doesn't have a cure. Satine will be snotty, that is that. He did give me a goopy gel that smells like maple syrup, which should at least reduce her symptoms.

My poor little courtesan kitty.

UPDATE: She's been taking her meds and it seems to be doing the trick. She's not wheezing nearly as much as she was. There's still a little but but she's definitely more energetic and kittylike.

--

Other news, the weather has been lovely, so I've been biking again. The 11 mile run up to the gym is completely exhausting -- steep hills the whole way. I love it and hate it all at once. I'm tired, but I feel good.

taxing

2007-03-10T10:43:00.000-05:00

My taxes are always a fairly easy affair. I don't have major investments or any massive deductions, so it's mostly a enter-the-W2-and-go kinda thing. Last year was the only exception, where due to my move to GA and an error by one of my temp companies in processing my W4 (they took out toooo much), I was entitled to a nearly $1000 refund. That money went directly to moving to my new apartment, where I live now, and what was left funded a lovely July vacation.

This year, its back to the regular routine. Filed last night, took about 20 minutes -- I'm getting back about $200. Nothing truly amazing can be done with that, but the good news is I'm not really lacking for anything right now. Instead, I'm snagging a few things that have gone neglected for a while -- I bought some new shoes yesterday. Taking the kitty to the vet this week. Fixing my bike seat. Getting my hair trimmed. Having my leather jacket mended. And my roommate's half-birthday gift -- tickets to see Molly Ringwald in Sweet Charity. It's going to be terrible; I'm going to love it.

In the meantime, though, it's brisk and sunny outside. I'm going to go walk in the park.

silence of the lamb

2007-03-06T13:58:00.000-05:00

There's really nothing to say right now. Everything is on pause. I'm keeping a very low profile.

Its not a bad thing, just makes for a boring blog. I have a friend, Duncan, who writes about how he keeps kicking the power cord out of his computer, and his solution was to move his chair. Somehow, its fascinating, but in my own life, that kind of stuff is just way, way, way too trivial to merit writing about.

I'm not moving to my new location right away because there are some other, more pressing staff changes there that need to be made first. No word from the theatre company yet; I'm not expecting one either. CEO of my company did write me though responding to my thoughts of AIDS Life Cycle.

"Impressive story of dedication! Keep it up!"

Somehow, I think he missed the point.

awake

2007-03-03T08:01:00.000-05:00

I slept in very late yesterday -- not sure why, maybe I needed to catch up. In doing so, though, its messed with my body clock. It resulted in staying awake all night -- just didn't get tired, and now it's 8 am and I'm still going strong. I forgot how nice mornings can be. Working the night shift generally puts me squarely asleep until 10 or 11. It makes me wish for a more human schedule.

I'm not worried about the implications of pulling an all nighter -- I'm off today and don't have any necessity of productivity. I'll probably conk out for a nap in a few hours and then go to bed early tonight. Meanwhile, I'll do some laundry and straighten up my room a bit. I've been in this apartment for almost a year now, perhaps I should unpack those last few boxes.

The CEO of my company sent out a mass email asking people about their fitness pursuits and how the company can become involved in order to expand our brand recognition -- i.e. sponsoring employees involved in competitive sports, fitness modeling, extreme sports and the like. I responded saying I didn't really have any professional aspirations for competitive sports, but that I've always wanted to take part in one of those multi-day benefit bike tours. The AIDS Life Cycle is in June, running from San Francisco to Los Angeles, and while training myself up to do a 7-day 545 mile tour and raising the $2,500 minimum pledges in little more than three months is more than a little daunting, a corporate sponsorship would certainly kick me square in the butt to do it. LA and SF are two of our major markets, too, so the exposure would certainly be beneficial -- and there are few causes more worthy than AIDS research. I don't do my fair share of charitable acts; this is probably a great place to start. I can only hope the bossman agrees.

not bad

2007-02-24T14:11:00.000-05:00

So even if I'm not called for the artistic director position (have I written it off already? the deadline hasn't even passed!) I think I'll be fine. I looked at gym I'll be working at in two weeks on Thursday, and I really like it. It'll be nice to get a fresh start around people who don't know me or my style.

The gym itself is huge, with an indoor track, swimming pool, racquetball courts, and lots of nice equipment. And it's 6 miles closer to my house than where I currently work! If I'm not biking that then I really have fallen off the dedication, and hard.

Trying to find motivation to do something today. Roommate's wandered off to Macon, I've got the place to myself for the day. Could stand to do some cleaning, but I gotta get off my duff first.

Had a random dream last night that I was going down to Tallahassee to surprise my sister for her birthday. I was going to take her out to breakfast, but she didn't want to go. It ended up with me dragging her out to the car screaming "WE ARE GOING TO CRACKER BARREL AND YOU WILL EAT BISCUITS!!!!!"

Then I woke up.

No idea what that's all about.

health update

2007-02-21T13:59:00.000-05:00

My immune system must have recovered from all that horrid stuff I had going on two months ago. My roommate was diagnosed with the flu last week, and I've managed to come away from it with little more than a scratchy throat and a bronchial cough. The scratchy throat is gone, the cough typically sticks around a week or two. It *wasn't* debilitating, and I *DIDN'T* catch his flu. I'm amazed.

On the flip side, though, my pants are kinda tight these days. This weather hasn't been conducive to anything productive fitness-wise. We're probably in for one more hard cold snap, but after that -- back on a regimen. I should be at the new location by then, which is about 4 miles closer to my home, and biking to work won't be quite so daunting.

A job description was released yesterday for the artistic director job. After looking it over I'm less optimistic about my chances of being called for an interview, but I'm submitted and that's that. I think I'll just forget about it, and if I'm called it's that much more a pleasant surprise.

patience

2007-02-19T20:20:00.000-05:00

I've submitted my resume, with a teriffic introductory letter, edited by my father.

Now all I have to do is wait. Let's hope they find me intriguing enough for this.

EDIT/UPDATE: The resume submission deadline was extended to Feb. 28th, so it'll be a while before I hear anything. Meanwhile, I'm checking out my possible new work location on Thursday.

living up to the name

2007-02-12T20:04:00.000-05:00

I am often crippled by low-self esteem in the things I choose to pursue. My acting career never really went anywhere interesting thanks to the fact I often would talk myself out of auditioning because I was too tall, too fat, too white, too thin, too whatever, and that I'd ultimately just be wasting my time.

I tend to doubt my abilities in the unknown and don't always chase after those things I want to do. Working at the gym has been relatively easy because it is more or less a culmination of the things I've already done in my history.

I've spotted an opportunity for something I've always wanted to do -- artistic director at a local music theatre. On paper, my experience may not seem relevant to the daily operation of a semi-professional theatre, but I know that in action, if I'm able to pull it off, it will be truly brilliant due to my otherwise irrelevant past experience teaching me how to do it.

I've explained some of my ideas and direction to some of the people whose opinions on such things hold the most sway... some of my theatre-professional friends. My parents. They've all been supportive and encouraging.

Finally, this time, rather than let my self doubts ruin my chances before I take any, I'm listening to what other people are saying -- I *am* capable of doing this. I can make this happen, and even if I don't get the position I can at least take pride in applying and following through.

As I start pasting my ideas together into a cohesive introduction for the company -- I'm informed that I will be offered a promotion at the gym within the next month. The logistics are not worked out, which is why the offer is not offical -- but I've been put on a short list that consists of one person.

So, if the big one doesn't happen, I'm still making forward motion. I'm keeping my cards close to my chest in the meantime.

How weird that I actually might start pushing into the prime of my life. I was only half serious when I named this page that.

an era ends

2007-02-10T19:47:00.000-05:00

Some 14 (!!!!!) years ago, aided by my childhood best friend, I latched on to the Internet in the media center of Raa Middle School, and became one of the early pioneers of civilian Internet usage as we know it today. AOL, Prodigy, and innumerable BBS's existed but only as self-contained units incapable of connecting to anything but themselves.

The vessel was an old Mac Plus with a modem plugged into the wall, which connected me to Tallahassee Freenet.

A few years later, TFN was threatened with closure as Florida State University declared the project a success and withdrew its funding from it, and my friend Jonathan and myself launched a public effort to shore up support with the media friendly title of "S.O.S" -- Save Our System! We got profiled on the evening news for our community meeting to draw attention to the importance of public internet access. Some wrote us off as Star Trek geeks who mostly resembled the Comic-Book-Guy on The Simpsons, but others acknowledged that what we were yelling about was where the future of communications laid. Ultimately, our efforts were little more than superficial, as we didn't raise bucketloads of cash, but the exposure contributed to a public outcry, and eventually FSU and Leon County put up the money, and TFN continued operations.

TFN saw some of the earliest incarnations of blogging -- hand coded HTML pages with journal entries plastered across the screen as a means to communicate. I do take *some* credit for the early proliferation of web-journaling (arguably, mine was the first regularly updated journal published online in the southeastern United States), and many people who stopped in to read my page were spurred to create their own.

But, as with all things, TFN had to pass. The announcement was made this week that operations would cease as of May 31st. There will be no rallies for support, this time, as all involved will agree -- the moment has passed. TFN served a vital need at its zenith and was instrumental to bringing wide-spread internet usage to all people, connecting people who may otherwise have never met. My 14-year old email address, jaro at tfn.net, will cease to exist, too. It hasn't been used in several years, long since the victim of spam overload, but I've always kept it, in some cheesy way, as a reminder of where I started. I carry away life long friends, memories of parties at a warehouse, and a better definition of self.

Not bad for a little box with some wires connected to a phone.

the prime of life

moving on

one more

Two laughs for Christmas

breaking news!

ch-ch-ch-changes

mike huckabee: in sheeps clothing

i'm back

worth a look

headaches...

a question to get you thinking

the curse is broken

vacation!

fear and loathing

fragile

i've done it again

scary

ouch

a clean bill

more answers

trivia time

correction

really?!

-- Take the Quiz! --

it begins

just a part

it begins again

urban renewal

MVP

answers

not trivial

zzzz.

because i'm mentally five years old

suggestions please

and then there were four...

laying low

one yes, one no

almost there

quick question

oh, and

moving on

it's not over

its the heat AND the humidity

violation

worst. robbery. ever.

is this better?

sabotage

medical update

odds and ends

d'oh!

get this party started...

breaking the silence

unhappy returns

WANT THAT!!!!!!!!

it's still necessary

spoke too soon

so much...more

so much

been awhile

not enough

i'd like to buy the world a coke

indescribable

milestones

constant craving

payday

good news

defensive

passed

its funny because its true

time to go

photographic evidence

tiny victories

effective monday...

loopy

convalescence continues

progress

tough...

part one: how it happened

broken

something to think about